International Internet Stranger Borna

On this week's episode we talk to Canadian Borna about what fantasy world we'd choose to live in and also what it's like to get a PhD in philosophy. (What's with Canadians and getting intense PhDs?)
Sound Supervisor B.T. Measles. 
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Transcript

Unknown: 0:06

Hello Pursuit of Happiness podcast listeners. I am your host, Marta. And this week we talk to internet stranger, the International Borna, who is from Canada, living in the United Kingdom. And we talk about things like philosophy, and also throwing axes. So listen up, you guys do it we're gonna ask you icebreaker and this is the probably the hardest question of all of the podcast. So after this, it's all easy. And I will say that a lot of these things are maybe just American men. So you can be like, we don't I'm not like that. I'm not American. So icebreaker. Have you ever sent a dick pic? Is this just an American thing? Or does it have it all over the world? I have not. No. Okay. Okay. No. Because that's not something that I do personally. Yeah, unless someone asks me for it. And that's that hasn't happened. But you know, no, I have not. Yeah. Okay. Good, good answer. So I'm gonna ask you some quite other questions. So we can get to know you a little bit before we jump into the, like, overgeneralize questions for men and all that. Well, first of all, where are you? Where are you from? Because you're not from the US? No, so I'm actually Canadian. But I'm currently living in London, England, finishing up a PhD in philosophy. So oh, it gets complicated. So I'm not yes. So I'm not American. I'm not British. I'm Canadian. Yeah. Cool. Your second Canadian? So far as my I have. I have a pen pal from Canada. And who is on us. So what word Canada? I don't know if people will really know but from Toronto, so. Okay. Yeah, it's probably a big. If you know, Canada, Toronto, I would say, yeah. Yeah, they do the TIF there. That's Yep. But I, what I now get asked, Do you ever do that? Do you ever go to TIF I mean, I've been in the city when TIF has been going on, but I've been to it because it's, it's, it is expensive. And unless you're with like the press or something, and it's hard to go, you know what I mean? But, but it's fancy. And yeah, celebrities everywhere. I assume. That's how it is that set dance in Utah. So. Okay, let's ask some other questions. This is how I get to know to know people just because of things that I like. So what's your favorite movie? And if you don't have a favorite movie, you can tell us the last movie you watched and if you liked it or not, was hard to just pick one. I'm in a villa. But I would have to say Blade Runner is definitely up there for me. Oh, yeah. Like probably top five. But yeah, it's a good one. It is good one. And what is the the blonde guy he made up the entire, like, his entire monologue before he dies? That wasn't written. Did you know that? Yes. Yes. Rutger Hauer Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And provides us the whole tears in the rain bid, which is a gorgeous monologue. But yeah, yeah, really worked. And that's great. Yeah. How do you feel about the new Blade Runner? Do you think it? It kind of ruins some of the mystique of the original? I mean, not really. Because it because if you think about it, right, the the first one came out what like 1982 or something? Yeah. And, and for like 30 years, or nearly 30 years everyone was debating is Yeah, Deckard is Harrison Ford's character. Is he a replicant or not? Yeah. And the original, at least in the director's cut, it was still ambiguous, right. Yeah. So by the time you get to the new one with Ryan Gosling, they didn't even want to go there with that question, but thought, You know what, let's just, we're gonna just tell the audience that Ryan Gosling is a replicant. Let's just get out of get that out of the way. And I thought that was good, because that was a brave choice, because if they hadn't done that, if they had just done the same thing, people would have complained it was, you know, the original. I mean, I liked it. I liked the newer one. Actually. I thought it was interesting. Yeah. Okay, good. All right. Let's move on to our next question, which is your favorite music, it can be a band or artists and whatever you want to pick. Mmm hmm. Oh, well. I like all I mean, I what I listened to is a whole host of stuff. It's like it depends what mood I'm in what I'm doing everything from like classical to jazz to blues, to screamo music to some contemporary rap music. So I really have a broad range foot. I did go through a bit of an emo phase when I was in high school when I was actually so that was then not now. But our favorite bands. This is Canadian band called Alexisonfire, which is pretty good. Pretty much. Yeah, they're great. I also like Bob Dylan a lot as a as an artist. Kendrick Lamar Run The Jewels, you know. So there's again, like with Phil. Yeah, that's good. That's good to have, like, you know, wasn't everything, I think is a good quality to have. Okay, next question. What you kind of told us a little bit, what's your job? And you don't have to say, where you work or anything, just what you do. Right? Well, I am. Well, I did mention that I'm wrapping up a degree at the moment. So I'm a student. But I'm also doing some teaching this mostly resume these days, but I am teaching at like an adult college in London. So that's mainly what I do is I teach and I study and I hope to make a career out of that at some point. Yeah. Yeah. What do you what? What does that look for you? What is the career after your PhD? What is it? And it'll probably well, I mean, if I'm lucky, we'll probably be teaching at a university somewhere. Okay, either in the States or in Canada or somewhere in Europe? I don't know. Yeah, but I do have to have a backup plan. So there's also a bunch of like, research, different sorts of companies need researchers for different projects, and so on. And I've done a bit of that in the past too. So we'll see. But ideally, I do want to teach and I think that'd be really cool, because I do really enjoy it. I love teaching. So should be good. Awesome. Sounds good. Okay, this is our last question in the get to know you segment. And you can interpret this question, however you want. What's wrong with you? Oh, do you have like four more hours? That's a big one. Your favorite thing that's wrong with you? Well, I am a bit neurotic. So all that means is that I do tend to overthink a lot. And I mean, I know a lot of people do overthink, you know, it's not particular to me, you need to me, yeah. But it is a bit of an affectation of my personality a little bit. I tried to be as charmingly neurotic as possible. So think about the island without the creepy like. Yeah, okay, thanks. Yeah, I think Jeff Goldblum, oh, Jeff Goldblum vibe, as much better musician than I am. So I'm a bit neurotic. So I do overthink, and I do I can talk quite quickly sometimes. I don't know if that is what is wrong with me, but it's certainly a part of my personality. So working on, it's just it's just, it's exhausting being in my head, basically. Yeah, at least you're aware of it. And I don't know, I don't think that's, that's not always a bad thing. It can be in certain situations, but that's true. Okay, now we're moving on to overgeneralize questions about men or for men. And a lot of these I took to social media. And so some of them are very specific, because people want to know very specific things, answers to questions they have so and you might not relate to them. You might be like, I don't know how to answer that. Just try your best like what you think the billions of men on planet Earth are thinking. Okay. Let's see. I have a big stack here. Gonna pick? Okay. I don't know if this is this also could be a very American thing, honestly, because I always see it in sports, like in football. Why do men slap each other's asses so much? Yeah, that's, that's a strange thing. So okay, so I'm assuming we're talking about like, straight, sis hetero men. Right. Yeah. So there is an element. I mean, I do think there's an element of homoeroticism going on. Yeah, not that not that they would admit it. You know what I'm Yes. Yeah. You know, you're in the locker room. We've just played sports, everyone's showering. And so, you know, they'd like to kind of joke around and slap each other's asses, you know, job kind of thing. It's I don't know, for I mean, I should also just be clear. I'm a big sports guy I don't play a lot of so I've never done that to other men and men haven't done to me. So I don't know what it feels like. But I can imagine that you know, when you're kind of hanging out with the dudes, you know, after a game, it's like a bro thing. Yeah, I think underneath there's a lot of I don't know, maybe there's some weird insecurity going on with the masculine. Yeah. I don't know. It just it is what it is. Yeah, there's, there's there's certainly something going on underneath I think. Yeah. Underneath all that, like masculine bravado. There's, there's Yeah, fragile egos. Yeah, that's what I would say. The other thing that I think of is if it's just about, like, if you're about to go on the field, and someone like slaps you really hard, like it. And for me, It enrages me like me, my sister, like, we'll slap each other, we get mad, you know, in a playful way, not in a like, terrible way. But like, there's this weird, like, anger that it stirs up inside of me. So I'm like, maybe it's like, they're like, trying to get really amped up. I don't know. I wouldn't like that. That would make me more mad than want to play sports. But that has something to do. Yeah. Okay. That was the first time we had that question. That was a new one. So all right. Let's see. Trying to pick ones that we haven't done a million times because yeah, we get repetitive. Okay, so. I owe this has a little bit to do with our icebreaker. Why do you think men felt the urge to send dick pics? What is it about it like unsolicited? I feel like if somebody asks you for one, that's a different story. Right? There are people out there that are just shooting those out? And I don't understand what, yeah, what's going on in my brain to do that? It's I don't know how funny this answer will be. But I really do think it's a form of it's a form of power and domination. Right? Yeah. Has nothing to do with the woman in question, unfortunately. Yeah. Right. Because if it did, they would ask permission first, they wouldn't just send an unsolicited photo. But it's about right, you know, showing that they can do that, you know, shown that I cover to do this. And when I impose this on you. And it's all it all has to do with them. And they're all again, their own egos. Right. It's not about creating desire or attraction for the for the other person at all. Yeah, it's really unfortunate. And it's horrible that happens and keeps happening. Because yeah. But you know, I think, hopefully, people are getting a little more afraid of it just because the internet is forever. And so I don't know, I think also women are learning like, don't just shrug it off, like make him pay for this. Set it to his mom, find out his mom's phone number, send it to him and be like, This is what your kid is doing? I don't know. Yeah, exactly. Hopefully, people are teaching them. But I don't know. That's a good answer. Great. Okay, here's our last one. And because you have hopefully, you have a good answer, because nobody ever is able to answer this. And you have a broad music library. So maybe, I don't know. Why are there so many songs about little black dresses, and it doesn't necessarily have to be black dresses. I just feel like men always write about dresses in their music. What is it about? I mean, again, it's that well, it's either like the little black dress or the red dress, right? Yeah, but if but if you've sort of read, you know, artistically read conveys passion and desire and lust, right? Yeah. And black. There's that whole thing about how Black is slimming and sexy. And so women wear black dresses, black lingerie, quote, unquote, culturally speaking, it's a signal that they want to have sex. So again, it's all about kind of painting a picture in music about I mean, if I had to guess about about about a fantasy and the fantasy of the woman in the black dress, who's ready to take it off for you and all that stuff? So again, it's a it's a form of fantasy making, I think for the men. Yeah. Yeah, they don't really have to describe the woman inside the dress. It's like here is you know, Lots of women wear these black dresses or red dresses, and I'm just gonna describe them all so they can put themselves in to my song or whatever. Yep. So, yeah. Okay. Great. We're moving on to dating profile. So basically, I write questions for you, based on your dating profile. I kind of guess why you chose certain pictures or prompts and then you can explain why you really, okay, now chose whatever. Okay, so first you have a photo of you and your guitar is this because you know about guitar goggles, which is similar to beer goggles. Guitar goggles is the effect of men holding a guitar that makes them much more attractive. It's a thing. See, I did not know that was a thing. I didn't know there was a term for it. But if you look at that photo, yeah, like the guitar is barely visible because I was captured the cat in the background, because I'm a cat. So. So there's a bit of guitar there, but it's not like I'm like showing off that I can play the guitar. Because I'm not very good. I'm still learning. I'm self taught. Right. So, but that, so Okay, yeah, maybe I don't know. unconsciously. I knew that guitar. Yeah, ever. And then we're attractive to women. Maybe. But consciously The reason I took that photo was because all the other photos on my profile are one or two years out of date, you know, like the pandemic happened. And I realized shit, I needed an updated photo. So one day, just a photo of me. I'm like, This is how it looked like now people. This is yeah, in 2022. No, no. catfishing happening here. Exactly. So. But yeah, there's a bit of a guitar in that photo. So what can you do? Yeah, what? What's your favorite song? What's your favorite song to play in the guitar? So I'm trying to teach myself the acoustic guitar blues, the old tone like I did 30 years. So I've been trying to learn a lot of fingerstyle techniques. So this is one very simple 12 chord blues rhythm that I learned off of YouTube. And I'm just practicing that over and over again, to get like the rhythm. Right? And you know, and it's kind of fun. And yeah, I don't want to perform for anyone. It's just for me, you know what I mean? So yeah, I like it. It's not that complicated, but it's nice. It's relaxed. Yeah. I do think that. It's interesting, because most of the time, we're like, oh, yeah, he plays a guitar. He's gonna sit and sing and play for you. But in reality, I don't think that would be fun time. I think it would be really weird to have two people in a room and one of them just like singing and playing guitar to your face. Like what do you do in that situation? So like, that does not seem like a very fun time. And what if they weren't very good, it would be awkward situation. The fact that you can play guitar, like, lots of women like that. Not every woman obviously, but okay. Next thing? You say the dorkiest thing, the thing it was dorkiest dorkiest thing about you is you have a Star Wars Star Trek right tattoo and you thinking you're thinking of getting a Lord of the Rings tattoo? Is this telling you that you often fantasize about getting off this planet? Because it's a hellhole? Yes, well, that's yeah, that's part of it. So the store was set to I had this moment. Oh, yeah. So yeah, I want to leave this planet is a horrible, it's too hot. And the partitions are pissing me off. Yeah. Yeah. I'm also big like, nerd so I do love Star Wars. Star Wars. The rings. Yeah, we'll pin so on so I saw some part of it. Yeah, tattoos. Do you think so? Is Lord of the Rings? Technically Earth though? They call it Middle Earth, right? Is that Middle Earth, but it's like, it's like. Yeah, it's like, I mean, you can kind of think about it as, as the the what do they call it and Stranger Things like the like the other world the stranger thing? Or whatever it is? Yeah. You know what I mean? I forget his name. But Gorgon is in Stranger Things. So Middle Earth is like that version of our. Okay, upside down. That's how it's called. Upside down. Yes. There you go. Okay, and which, okay, out of those three, three options, which one would you actually want to live in? Um, I mean, if I had to choose, I think, yeah, the Star Trek world seems pretty cool. I mean, you know, the future of humanity. eradicated poverty and hunger on earth. You can join Starfleet and hang out in a spaceship. That sounds pretty nice. J A Star Wars is like, you know, a wild west in space. It's it's pretty violent. So I don't know about Star Wars personally, unless I unless I do the Han Solo thing and become smuggler. But yeah, yeah, I would say this Star Trek world is probably the most attractive. Right? What about okay, Star Trek? Do you do watch all of the versions of it? Or do you have a favorite one? Because as a kid, they had the 90s one. And I watch that all the time with my parents. So that's like, what I think of when I think of Star Trek, but we had the nightmare. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I, I've even seen the more recent shows that they've been producing. And they're all pretty good. I think. So I, I mean, they're all different, but I do enjoy all of them. But my favorites are probably the one from the 90s, you know, with with Picard and yeah, the rest of them right, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager and so on. So those are pretty good. Yeah, I agree. I think I would choose to be a hobbit because in Middle Earth, they seem like they just party and dance a whole time. Unless you're Frodo and Sam and Bilbo. But they seem to have a good life. They're just, they're just chillin. Yeah, they have like, and it's really pretty. I love to live live in New Zealand. That's where they shot it. I think you'll Yes, Zealand is pretty gorgeous. So if you can live there, then you're all set. Yeah. Are you excited for the new Lord of the Rings? Yeah. I'm curious to see what happens. It's, it's based on the sumo sumo literally in C, I'm kind of impressed the name of the thing. So it's a different? Yeah. It's kind of a prequel set, like 1000s of years before? Yeah, the rings. So yeah, but I'm excited. I think it's hopefully it'll be good. Yeah. Okay, cool. Next question. This one is very weirdly specific. So just yeah, go with it. I guess. You say we cook that you and the person that's looking at your profile could cook a random dish you find on the internet, and it might turn out disastrous? Is this to show that you'd be a good Amazing Race partner? Because sharing the blame and getting over it is the name of the game? Have you ever watched at an No, I haven't. So. Sorry, you got you got to repeat the last part. Would it be a good race partner? Yes. But, I mean, I know of it. But I mean, I don't think it would be a good Amazing Race partner. No. Yeah. Because I was number one. I hadn't seen it. So that's already a problem. Yeah. If you just dropped me in that, you know, competition, right. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Maybe, maybe it could be okay. I don't know. But I think being an amazing race, good, Amazing Race partner makes you a good partner in general, because it's like very, you're just like, under a lot of stress. And like little things, basically, they travel around the world. And each place, they have to like complete tasks that are like relevant to wherever they are. So like, I one time, they were somewhere, I think in Thailand, and they had to deliver all this, like fruit to the floating buildings that around that around there. But it's very stressful. And little things can like ruin the entire task for you. And I think the biggest thing that is helpful is if like you both just like if someone does something wrong, you both are like, that's okay, let's move on with it. We're gonna just get over it really fast, no blaming, and move on. And I was like, You know what, that that would be a great partner. And I feel like if you're both cooking, and one of you does something wrong, it's fine. You can get over it. And yeah, still eat the crappy food and still have a good time. Right? That's kind of what I suppose that's what I'd say. I agree with that. But I think the amazing race situation, you're you're literally, you need to finish the race. So yeah. You can't just be like, just ordered takeout or something. We're just Yeah, it's Yeah, that's a problem. So that's a way to solve a problem and that's a lot of amazing race. It's been my sister during COVID Watch all 35 seasons of amazing race so that's why it's always fresh on my most it's a crazy show, but we wouldn't be terrible at it but me my sister is pretend we'll go on it and just be funny so that people will like us. Yeah, that's all though. That's all you need. Okay, this one has to do with your I just looked at my cats because it has to do with cats. You asked for your cat people, and it shows a very artistic cat photo is this Yeah, because cat people are much more tolerable pet owners and dog people. Not a dog owners are bad but I just feel like dog owners are like, Yeah, I hate cats. And cat people are like, I'm like all animals, but I just really like my cat. Do you? Do you agree with that? Yeah, I mean, I am. I'm a cat person. But I also liked dogs. I've never owned it. Yeah, but from my friends have had dogs, other family members that have had dogs and and I've nothing against dogs personally. But yeah. But it's it's I mean, I don't know if it's true. The thing you said about the dog people being the people being Yeah, I don't know, maybe. But. But I think I think the two types of animals do require different temperaments and people. Like you just have to like, let your cat be a cat. And yes, you can kind of try to train the cat to do things, but the cat doesn't want to be trained. Leave your cow. Dogs. Yeah, dogs love whatever it is you do, right. So you can train your dog you can you know, that's fine. But if you like cats, just cats need personal space. And I'm saying who also needs personal space. So I kind of like their vibe. You know what I mean? Yeah, and you earn their love, which is different dogs will love anybody, usually, depending on the breed. But yeah, my cat is not very nice and only really loves me. And I'm like, I earned this. She's really old. She's 16 years old. And so I'm like, over this 60 Yeah, I love cats, too. And I agree. I also feel like just, they're easier to have to. They're just like, you can leave them alone. And they're not going to like, rip up your floor, which I actually was dog sitting for someone and their dog ripped up their floor and I had to tell them when that happened. And it was tear. They were really nice photo, but it's like dogs are so emotional man. But yeah, I think cap you like I really liked dogs. I don't think I could ever own one because I have a lot of cats. And also, they're just a lot of work. You got to yeah, do a lot of stuff with them. So. Okay. Next question. You asked if we agree or disagree of capitalism is destroying the planet? And if, if we should just start over? My question for you is how would the girl of your dreams punish bill? billionaires? Oh, what are you? Well, I mean, there's the guillotine that can be you know, we can use that. You can you can make the billionaires give away all their money. And yeah, have them work a regular job to see what it's like, you know, like Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk. I think that'd be nice. Yeah. Yeah, I think I think giving away all their wealth, and then making them actually like experience, work work, as opposed to Yeah. Competing who gets to fly to space or whatever it is that they do these days? Which who has the biggest super yacht? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, forcing them to actually watch their money be given away. Like, they have to go out and give it away, or else they'll get the guillotine, that's a good punishment, and then forcing them to work in the shitty ways that they've forced many other people to. I'm just pissed that everyone thinks Elon Musk is smart. He's not smart. He hires smart people, and like he didn't invent anything that he did. Like, yeah. Anyways, that's Yeah, girl, your dreams would punish them by giving all their money away. That's perfect. Okay. Okay, here's our last question for your profile. And you'll probably have to explain some of this because you are posed nonchalantly next to a German headstone to say you're not afraid of death, or explain what that is. I'm very curious. Right. So. So that's the grave of George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, who was a German philosopher. Okay, in the in the 19th century, and I'm writing my thesis on his philosophy. So several years ago, this was before the pandemic. I visited his like, Tombstone and I, and my then girlfriend was like, Do you want a photo of you hanging out with Hegel? I'm like, Yes. Sure why not? So that yes, the photo. And that's why it's really nerd. Again, it's kind of nerdy because who has no idea who Hegel is the like, why is this guy hanging out at a graveyard? What the fuck is going on? But it's just, you know, I've spent years reading this philosophy. I thought, well, I might as well. You know, take a photo. Yeah, save. Pay my respects. thing. Yeah. Standing on as, you know, bones. Yep. Crazy. Okay, cool. Yeah, I was I knew there was had to be a story behind that. Like, he just decided to take a picture next to grave. Okay. We're moving on to do you have any bad date stories? You can tell us? It doesn't have to necessarily be app related. But I just think that apps generally are awkward. And so bad dates. What's it that bad dates come from? So? Yeah, I mean, anything? Yes. Well, this was more recently, this was maybe about three weeks ago. Okay. I've matched with an American actually, who just moved to London. And we started chatting, and, you know, we, we met up for a drink for a date. Somebody told me met up, I think, maybe a week or so it passed. So we've been kind of messaging back and forth. And and I thought, okay, things are going great. You know, we're messaging, she seems interested. Because, and I'm sure maybe a lot of your listeners can maybe relate to this, if you do use online dating apps, there's a whole thing where if you match, there's no real, you know, there's no guarantee that it'll lead to an actual date, you know, you don't know. And even if you do have a back and forth messaging, through the chat or whatever, that doesn't mean anything, you know, there's no guarantee. But you know, we had really good back and forth, she seemed interested, and I was certainly interested. So we meet up for a drink. And it's great. We're having some drinks. And it's fine. And conversations going, okay, you know, I'm making her laugh, which is always good. And, you know, conversation. You know, we we get some food to get some dinner, and we're eating. So I paid for the drinks, and we went to a different place for some food, and she ended up paying for the food. And near the end of the evening, you know, she she basically, it was around maybe 1010 30. And this was during the week, by the way, it was, it was like a Thursday. Yeah, because, oh, I have to get going, you know, I have to work tomorrow. And I was like, alright, you know, that's fine. And she and so she said, Oh, if you want you can stay here and finish up eating. And that and I was like, Well, no, like, if they do this over. I'm not going to Yeah. I said, No, no, I'll leave with you. And I thought that's a bit weird. I mean, you got the door. And I was like, Hey, listen, I had a great time. You know, I still owe you for the dinner. And she said, yeah, don't worry about it. And she seemed to be rushing, right? Yeah. And so I didn't get a great feeling about it. But it just said, Hey, you know what, if you ever want to meet up again, just let me know. And before I could finish the sentence, she interrupted me. And was like, Yeah, I'll let you know and turn around and start walking away. And I was like, that's kind of brutal. And what what did I do or say, Holy shit? Yeah. And he's, and here's the thing. Okay, she hasn't messaged me since and she was so she wasn't interested. Right? Fair. But like, first of all, we're on a date. Right? We've both given our time. Yeah, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna sit at a restaurant and eat my meal alone while you leave. That's not cool. wants to do that. And also, she was so she was pretty rude to me in the end for no reason that I could really understand or tell. And at the end of the day, look, it was one day, you know, I'm not heartbroken about it, obviously. But I figured, look, dating is hard. And if you you know, if you don't get a good feeling from the person that you are on a date with, be civil, be kind be nice. And then later on, you just say, Hey, I didn't really feel it, and you end it right? That's what I tried to do personally. So there's no reason for her to be rude, but she's been really rude to me. And she just wanted you to stay in the restaurant. She wanted to leave. She wanted to get away and I was like, yikes. All right, Jesus, so yeah, yeah, that where was she from? She want to know what she was from Texas. Oh, Exodus. Yeah, usually this southern people are very polite. What are they? What's happening? Yeah, I don't know. That is really weird. Huh? Yeah, that's awkward. Oh, Okay, yeah, now, we're gonna ask you, what would your dream date scenario be? combined? You mean like a first date? Or, like, I don't know, first date, because I feel like there's no such thing as a dream first date. Because if you don't know the person, it's probably not gonna be very dreamy. I don't know, I think first dates are really weird. So like, there's not a scenario where I'm like, Yeah, perfect. Just like, what do you Yeah, what would you do that you think would be like the perfect first date for you? Not first date? Just date? Well, let me tell you why. Yeah, well, you know, I mean, what, what's always fun, I think is if is if you do an activity with someone, so. So I would like to, you know, go to an art gallery, or go to like, a London has a bunch of museums, go to a museum or something. And just kind of, you know, hang out and chit chat about the stuff you're looking at. Because that can be fun. And you can make up stories and pretend you know shit about art. And that's fine. You can do that for a bit, and then maybe grab a bite to eat dinner drink, maybe then go and see a movie or something. And then if the date keeps going on, you either go back to her place, or my place or whatever, maybe, maybe maybe we cook a meal together, because I do enjoy cooking. And I think it's a lot of fun if you cook a meal together. Something like a version of that, I think because I think it's really, because just sitting across from someone and having a drink and a conversation can be fun. But I think you have more fun if you do something together. Yeah, like I've never been axe throwing. But I wouldn't mind giving that a try. With someone who knows, you know, people throw axes. It's something you can do. Yeah. You know, because I think that'd be cool. If you if you do an activity you have, yeah, something I think it's also important to do something that both people aren't like, I don't know. Like, for example, if you take someone on a date, and you're really good at Axe Throwing, that's not gonna be that fun for the other person you're on a date with. So it's like you got to be on the same level. If you're bulk terrible at throwing axes, or both really good at throwing axes. I feel like that's an ideal situation. Because I don't know, my sister dated this guy who was a musician. He's like, we're gonna go to karaoke. And just like, what sang the songs that he knew he sounded good. Singing and I was like, this is such a strange, weird, like, look how good I am at doing this thing. And karaoke? Yeah. Yeah, that too. I was like, Get out of here. nobody's supposed to be good at karaoke. But like, there's just a weird I feel like sometimes men have this weird desire to be like, I'm gonna show her how good I am at doing this thing. And it's so weird thing. So yeah, I felt like there's got to be an equality. Nobody's like showing off or you're both showing off at the same, right? Oh, no, because people like, you know, there's a lot of fishermen here maybe finds a fisher men lady and they go fishing together and they're both really good. That seems like a dream date for them. Yeah. Okay, that sounds great. I've never thought about going to an art gallery and pretending you know what you're talking about. That's a great idea. Like just make up stories. You can make ups to interpret the art. You know, it can be fun. Yeah, no joke around the stuff. Yeah, yeah, that's me. My sister went to the Louvre when we are in France. And we are just like making up stories. But I never thought of that as a date. Fun. Good idea. Everybody ran it down. steps here. There's not a ton of art galleries. But as Okay, next segment, we're gonna talk about any green flags that you see on people's profile. So anything that you're like, Yes, I need to talk to this person because of this. Right? Okay, well, if we're just talking like profiles, if Well, one green flag would be if the Okay, this is a bit of a tricky one. If they if they if they value, you know, like good communication and emotional intelligence, and, you know, compassion and kindness, right? Yeah, sounds lovely. And who doesn't want that in a partner, right. But the person I just told you about that was rude to me, had those things written on their profile. So what I've also unfortunately noticed is that a lot of people like like the sound of those things, and they will say it and you know, they might say to you in person as well, but then they don't really practice it. If you see what I mean. Yeah, no, I'm not. I mean, I realize I'm maybe coming off as holier than thou. I'm not perfect either. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm also working on myself. I can fuck up like anyone else. But I try my best to be kind and nice and understand that to other people, especially if you're on a date with someone. Yeah. And so I would very much like that to be reciprocated. So that's really what I do look out for is if someone either says refer Eve, or if they say, Oh, I value that as well. Yeah, okay. Well, we share that in common. That's good. That's a very core thing. I think for me. Yeah. I think that'd be the like, number one would be would be that. Yeah. Sorry. I might. Stop. She wants attention. Me. messing up my okay. My audio school fine. She's a kin. So she's an rambunctious, Walker out. Okay. Any other green flags that you can think of? And you can be specific if you want? Yeah, well, I mean, so yes. I mean, I would say also, you know, if someone is into the same sort of stuff that I'm into, specifically, philosophy, which is what I'm studying, because I've spent so many years studying it. I like to talk about it obviously, in so if the person I'm dating is also Intuit, we can kind of geek out over the same thing. Yeah. And that's always nice right? Now, that's not a requirement for me. But yes. Oh, I like to share that part of myself with someone and if they're already great. And if they know, they know the person on I forget his name, hand along name the person heads down. Yeah. Has anyone known who he is? Somehow? Okay. But I mean, but you know, not not all, but yeah, some? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. That makes sense. Okay. Any other green flags you want to talk about before we move on to red flags? And then, yeah, I mean, when this may be released, the first one, which is that, you know, you know, does the person have, you know, a healthy sense of self awareness and introspection, or like, self reflection, you know what I mean? Yeah. You know, because I, again, being a bit neurotic, and overthinking, I do that a lot. But I've also, you know, been in therapy for years, and I'm working on myself, and I know what my shitty habits are, and I know what my better habits are. And when I do say something, and I fuck up, I try to figure out why I did that. And I tried to learn from it. Yeah. And if someone sort of says that in the profiles, that they're also, you know, they also do that, are they are they valued that then that's always a green flag in my books? Yeah, I think that should be on every woman's checklist. I think, people I think there's just a lot of men who are not self aware. So if they say they go to therapy, I think that's a green flag. And it should be for everyone. Yes, because we live in a hard world. Yeah. Red flags and the red flags. You're like, this will never work? Yes. Well, I mean, okay, wait, so we're talking about like, red flags on their dating profiles, right? Yes. Use the specifically Yeah, like anything. Let's stick to profiles, because I feel like you can see them. They're well, I mean, it I mean, for me, it's, it's when they have their Instagram account name. Just advertised. I'm sure guys do it too, on dating profiles. But it's, it's, I just think that's, I mean, that's not cool. You just, you know, just want to gain more followers. That's yeah, that's shitty. So stop it, you're kind of wasting people's time. So that I don't really like that at all. So I just, you know, just ignore people that on their profiles. And also P, unfortunately, you do see this with with some women is that they'll still say the only date someone over six feet tall. Oh, yeah. And usually they themselves are like five foot three. Yeah. I'm like five foot seven. I'm not six feet. But, you know, I'm like, Well, why? Why put a like, I can't do anything about my height. You know what I mean? Yeah. So you have this weird fetish about dating some tall dude. And that just like annoys me because it's like, well, you're missing out on people who are under six feet who could be amazing partners. Right? Yeah. So again, I ignore those women who have that on their profiles. Because, yeah, you know, it's a little shallow. Yeah, that's weird. A weird thing that I see. Men will like, overstate six feet tall. Yeah. Like, who cares? You can still be a terrible person and be six feet tall. Oh, my, my friend. Yeah, I think that's a strange. I have a theory where it's like, someone wants data, like people who have that in their bios, is there are some men who have like the short man complex, but really, it's just that they're, like, not a nice person. And then they blame it on them being short. Because I've seen that happen, where it's just like, You're a terrible guy. It's like she didn't like because five, six or whatever it was like, No, it's because you're just not nice. So I'm, I guess, I'm guessing some of these ladies have dated those guys. But still, you should give them give these guys a chance. Especially if you're five three. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, my sister, my sister's five one and her husband's five, six. And like it's perfect. And now their baby, they have a really tiny baby. And like they're just why do you need someone taller? That will be annoying, too. I don't know. The tall the height thing is so strange to me. Okay, up. Any other red flags for you? Well, yeah, I mean, I would say just just anything that is the opposite of the first green flag and mentioned. I mean, you won't really see people say this on the profile, but if they're too self involved, or if they think they're the best, and there's nothing wrong with them, and it's all the guy tells, you know, that sort of behavior. I I've dated women like that when I was younger, and it's not fun. But I've learned from it. And I don't want to date people like that. Yeah, no, that's not for me. So do you ever? Do you ever stumble upon the I felt like I see this a lot from men where it's like, they list things that that they're not looking for. And I find that kind of person generally want to stay away from because it's like them just being horrible about women. And I'm sure that there's probably girls are like, I don't like these types of guys. I'm like, what? You're not even talking about yourself. You're talking about like, what you don't want. And that's such a weird way to try to attract someone. Yeah, via the apps like, why are you just telling what you don't want? That's such a weird Yeah, you do phenomenon? Yeah, you catch. What's that phrase? You catch more with honey than with vinegar? Yeah, whatever. So yeah, you might as well be more positive. And I mean, that goes for anyone on these dating apps. Right? It could be Yeah, for men and women. You know, be positive Don't be. Yeah. So again, like the hype, factors, and again, that sort of thing. So. But dating apps is just weird. In general. It's a weird they are. They're very strange thing. And I think that it's like, for so many people, that's just like, how they think that's how you have to meet people, especially young people. I've had a couple of younger, like, 21 year olds, and it's just like, that's how they meet people, which is so strange, but I mean, it works for some works for some people, so good for them. Okay, we're going to our last question. All right, and then I usually hang up because that's just what I do. So after you answer the question, it's done. And then I'll email you information. Okay, last question. If for some reason, the United States becomes more of a hellhole than it already is. Would you marry me so I could move to your country and escape? Yeah, sure. Which country the UK or Canada? You gotta choose either. universal health care and that's already just like, way better. Yes, fine. Canada we have we have moose and yes, snow. It doesn't really smile in London. But yeah, I like hell yes. Yeah. In Canada, baby. Yeah, baby. Thanks for Thanks for talking. Alright, see ya. Pal, yes to universal health care. I'm going to be Canadian. If all else goes to hell, which is very, it's very possible so are no IV my husband. Also remember, you can follow us on our social medias, which our pursuit of happiness podcasts on Instagram and pursuit of happiness on Tik Tok and POA underscore pod on Twitter. And we'll Talk to you soon. Bye bye