Pen Pal Joey

This week we talk to my pen pal Dr. Joey all the way from Canada (he just got his PhD, yall)! And all those who are close to me are jonsing to know the guy, well here you go!
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Transcript

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The podcast pursuit of happiness. I'm your host, Martin. And this week we talk to my pen pal from Canada, our first international man, Joey, and we will talk about things like how sometimes being an astrophysicist is annoying. And also, which friend do you choose to put in your mouth? Stay tuned. Shall we start with our icebreaker? And the icebreaker is have you ever sent a dick pic? No, I've not neither in Yep. Not in a relationship. Not in some attempt at courtship. No, nothing. Yeah. That's good. Never got into like, sexting at all. Like, it's just never happened. I was. I don't know. I was always like, kind of around. My girlfriends is never like a long distance situation going on. So yeah. And it's risky. Like, I just think that any of those photos risky. Yeah. Mark Zuckerberg got it. Essentially. Any any photo? You post the internet? Mike's got his hands on it. And I don't know, I don't know that out there. What is he doing? We don't know. Has anyone ever asked you for one? No, they have it. And also just like, I would be confused cuz I just think of like, I don't have all the pics requests that would be on my list. And also like reciprocal for like, you know, that area of the body is just like not appealing. In general, I would say. I agree. I 100% agree with that. That's not really understood the appeal or something? I 100% agree. Okay, so now we're gonna ask you some questions for our listeners. Hopefully, if I have them some questions that tells us a little bit about yourself. Just so we know what kind of guy so what is your favorite movie? Favorite Movies? Favorite single one? I might have to go over today. I'd have to go with Benjamin Button. I would say that's one. Four. Okay, I don't even think it's like it's weird. It's not even like I don't think it's the best movie out there. But there's something about it that I feel like just specifically speaks like to what I'm interested in. I don't know. I haven't I shouldn't write like a essay on it as if I was in high school or something. Ever. Why you? I? I didn't know this about you. I think I really love Cate Blanchett. It's New Orleans drawl. Yeah. And there's a couple of lines that I feel like I missed it. And there's like, you know, and she's older and she's like, you know, debts and it's all about the line is Yeah, later you lose that line. And you never get it back. I think about that constantly. I don't know why. I think that I mean, that's fair. I felt like that. So would you say it's like a comfort movie like you? You were comfortable movie and watch it come to me? Yeah, that's capable of like, pushing me to tears which is like something I crave because like, I you know, that's a hardened man. My masculine upbringing. I didn't I didn't really you know, I've learned to repress my emotions and that's what he's capable of fishing. Sometimes. Not 100% of the time that movie is big fish big fish 100% of the time I'm I am sobbing at the end. Yeah, yeah, that's a that's a good tear jerker. And it has Billy crude and I love him he's done it very much but you sector okay yeah, yeah, he was Favorite music or your top Spotify artist anyway you all right yeah taught music um, last year on my Spotify recap I got a lot of caravan Palace was was was like under this think they're a French group that kind of air in this like electro swing genre. Oh cool. But their albums are also really different from each other and so they cover like a lot of different um some of its upbeat some of its like club music some of its like little more like you could see yourself dancing with actually with somebody which you can't actually do at a club because no one actually dances with each other club. I don't know something else happens but I don't know there's a lot of rats in there stuff for me I guess. Yeah them in dead mouse. We're near the top so electronic stuff for both of them. Some some dancing? Yeah. Dancing Janner and Barnett and was up there. You know, it's like hipstery lover indie rock music. There's always something like that on the go. Oh for me, she's going on tour this year. And she, she announced a Salt Lake City stalls. And I think it's gonna be we have like a series that's outside. And hopefully maybe I'll feel safe. But we'll see. Fingers crossed. It's gonna be good. Yeah. Julian Baker and Lucy Degas I think are going with her, which is kind of just be a sad time. They're all very sadly, in the summer, there's a decent chance this COVID stuff kind of gone away in the summers. And maybe it's Yeah, yeah. Well, we'll see. I feel like if it's outside, I'll feel more comfortable. But who knows? Okay, tell us what you do for your job. Don't tell us where you work, just in case. I want to start here. I am a grad student. I'm in the last year of my PhD at blank University in Canada, and the Toronto area. I'm an astrophysicist. I study simulations of how planets form and that's going to form the bulk of my thesis. I don't plan on being an academic going forward. So I have to decide what I'm going to do. The next year or so. Might just move in with my mom, because you know, that's the hip thing for millennials to do these days. Yeah, but that's what I do currently. For now. Yeah, I'm an actual scientist. It's kind of freaks me out sometimes. That for me, that's a very cool answer. Hope people appreciate that astrophysicist. Okay. Our last question is, you can interpret this in any way that you do. What's wrong with you? What's wrong with me? Oh, my God, I've read therapy. Oh, it can be it can be within dating or just like, you know, what's wrong? Whenever you feel like telling evidence, it's not too heavy, because I got heavy thoughts. A better question like this. I don't know. I'm one problem is like, you know, the classic male thing. It's like, oh, surprise, like, I've just don't really feel like I'm capable of being in like, a big serious thing. And I haven't felt that way in like, a year and a half. And kind of the idea of being in a big thing that's like, you know, you talk to somebody, you know, throughout the day, every few hours, but you know, call them every other night, that kind of thing. All this is very nice, of course, but like, I just feel like, I'm just not capable of that right now. And it kind of freaks me out a little bit too, because like, I've enjoyed some of my relationships or got close with people in the past, but it just feels like I'm missing something. And I don't know what what's wrong with me is this question. I don't know, this is like a source of maybe I should go to actual therapy. Professional. So a tiny fear of, I don't know, fear of commitment, or just like, Yeah, I guess that's what that technically what that meant. But it feels more than like, I'm not even drawn to like getting into a halfway like, you know, relationship either. I don't know what I want in the romantic thing. It was like, I wasn't even on the apps for the longest time until you were like, Hey, can you make a dating profile to this? Like, oh, I've been on it for a week, and I'm talking to people again, so I guess we'll have to sort this out. I wonder if it I mean, I'm guessing COVID? Probably. Yeah, sort of. Yeah, made you COVID is probably no no, I moved in with the fact of like, graduating I don't know what I want to do next. I'm probably a big reason why I don't know what to do next is that so much of the world seems uncertain right now. And I feel like yeah, in my hierarchy, you know, this, like pyramid thing, the, the hierarchy of needs, whatever. Some sort of like, my own path kind of comes first before trying to get anybody else involved. And I wonder if this is what kind of what's happening, and I feel like this is start maybe I should write this down. Bring this to a therapist next time. You can listen back to it. Keep a copy. Yeah, I think also just like COVID I mean, dating someone during this time for me would feel a lot more serious just because of the precautions you have to take. And you like have to put be willing to like, I don't know, it just it seems like no matter what, it's going to feel more serious than just like a casual date because you're risking Yeah, this person essentially um, I mask getting sick like low so that like COVID aspect of like, catching it from somebody. This is not maybe the best attitude but like, I don't live with anybody at high risk. So like, I don't i i can do most of my work from home if I wanted so. If I got it, I could stay at home and it wouldn't put me in big issues. So I avoid that risk lower. I don't No, just COVID impact on the rest of the world that think has impacted me the most. And all these discussions like you, when you decide you want to meet up with somebody on the app, she'll be like, Okay, well, here's my situation with how I, you know, take the bus to campus, right? Yeah. And so yeah, and, you know, I'm teaching labs now. And so I see people want to, this is now information I have to disclose in the case of in being honest and open. It's just like this extra level of dating that just like, as if it ended other filters already. To make it harder. Yeah. Yeah. Yipes. Okay, we're gonna move on to our next segment, which is called overgeneralize questions for men. Excellent. So basically, I'm gonna ask you questions, and you're answering on behalf of all men, if you don't feel like you understand the question, because it sounds something that you do or whatever. Try to take a guess. Try to take a guess for all mankind. Okay. And you say, Man, you mean males? Men? male, the male kind? As Justin Trudeau call it is the general term? No. Yes. Oh, that makes that makes sense. Okay, ready for your first question? Why? Why don't men care about babies? Why don't men? There's an easy answer is like, I think that is that is cheating a little bit. So this applies to both genders, but just like the costs you're talking about? And they do. And it's just like, that whole, you know, you want to have the house ready to have the nice job and stuff that's just getting harder and harder to come by. So that's number one. Number two, men don't care about babies cuz they don't have to go through pregnancy. I think it probably that's a good point. It's the entry for conceiving a child for a man is essentially nothing comparatively you could dissension about that a way to say it's zero and say, you know, women bear the full brunt of like, you know, raising a child and you get nine months with the most intimate contact you could ever have with another view. Yeah, so that's probably that's my shot in the dark. I can almost see this for myself, like infants can do like essentially nothing, right? You're essentially it's 100% input. 0% output, right? From your part. Yep. I love kids, when they get to like to talking and like walking age, and they like do stuff. Yeah. And like, you know, put your world ideals on them. That's the one. And yeah, invest with them. Infants. Yeah, you can't do that. So I would agree with those less less interesting, I don't know what what it is, but specifically, that first year and a half, two year phase just like, doesn't appear to be as much. I mean, I think it's because yeah, like, as a man, there's not really much you can do with that child to really, right. I mean, it depends if the the mothers breastfeeding or whatever, but it's like, there's not really, the baby doesn't care about you. But that's the point is they really, they don't give a shit about them. So why are you giving a shit about? It's not at risk? Maybe it is more risky for women? I don't know. I think I mean, yeah, that's a whole nother level depends on the woman obviously. But I just love when you I love like going in public. And you hear that? First of all, people who bring their newborn babies out during COVID is questionable. But before COVID When you would hear when I would share the like newborn baby, it's just like through just like cute, weird little lumps. And I just want to hold them for like, yeah, the toddler aged kids, you know, you play games and stuff. Like I was actually just on the ice today with one of my friends and her dad was around there was a cousin, a little little kid that was around to kind of like basically put the puck between his skates and stuff and watch him try to mess it. That kind of stuff really entertains me but it infant not there. All right. Next question. And if I can explain this one, if I need to, I read an article about this. And it was very fascinating. So why do men submit to the male power fantasy and not the female gaze when making their profiles? When making the point to me so there? Yeah, I see. So you want to elaborate? Sorry. Yeah, so basically, it's just all explain it for listeners. If it's confusing, basically men are more interested in looking like powerful to themselves and other men when they're making profiles, which it makes no sense because they're not posting it for men. But it's like feeling more powerful within themselves and how they see themselves as a man, rather than like what females want to see on their profiles thing. This is a good question. I don't have I feel like I want to be like, qualified and like sociology to answer. So I'm gonna take my shot. And yeah, I feel like men are more socialized or more like, understand that the people that they're socially competitive with other men, and they don't feel like socially competitive with other women because like, why would they be they automatically get higher pay and get better jobs and so on? And you know, statistically speaking, at least that's the case, right? So I just don't know, like, men view women as like social competition. And so it's like, you're presented with this thing. It's like an interview that data the dating app thing, right? So they had to be like, yeah, present the best version of yourself. And you default to like, I'm going to present how I know when I need to be competitive, and that's with other men. So you default with some mode of like, as if you're in the bro group is like, how do you make the best dating app that would be most palatable to your bro group? Yes, it was anything else? That's my that's my thoughts. I think. I mean, that's it. That's a very Yeah, I feel like that is a very compelling answer. I think that's true. They're like, they're seeing it more as a competition against the other men instead of like, yeah, of course, the instead of like, the women course and what she like the lapse in logic there is that other men do not see your profile like other heterosexual men. Yeah, that's your profile. Right? There's people that you're going to be competitive with. This is not, you're not. I mean, it's interesting, because like, you'll be side by side. But like the PERT Yeah, the judge will be a woman and not sexual case. Like so. Yeah. Yeah. So it's interesting. It's a lapse in logic, but I feel like it's I you know, it's now that you say it, I can feel myself like falling into that kind of trap sometimes, too. Yeah, I felt like when I first make a dating app, like it kind of kills me when like hinge like makes you pick some of these prompts. And it's like, sometimes it's like, do you want to want to say, and like, I'll come back and like edit. And I kind of think interesting is like, kind of like a, it's self introspective moments. Like, why am I doing this? Why am I making this edit? What did you know this current? Does old thing say? That? Yes. New Version says that. I wanted to be different. I don't know. It's interesting. It's, it's very interesting, just because when I think about when I make my profile, which is like, I make it like, because I know what men would want, like my profile to look like, and I actually did that for this podcast is I was like, Okay, I know which pictures men will click on. But if I was doing it, for myself, I don't think that I would make it. Like how I like to get men that way. But I also think that, but I do think that my the, the men that I would be attracted to on the apps wouldn't be the kind of men who are like, Oh, I just want a hot girl, probably. And I want to tell you, right now that there's so many men on this app that do not read bios, not as awful I am. I am screaming at the top of my lungs, that it is a podcast, and I still like, I'm like, Oh, you want to be on the podcast with like, a podcast? Like, come on context. Everything about your profile is about this podcast, or is it's a big feature of it at least. So basically, every prompt, sorry. No, it's fine. We could, but basically, it set up saying this is a podcast, but I do trap people. Because I know I picked a picture that I know that the men would lie. And so if I'm working against myself, I should just make it more interesting. But I also would want people like that on the podcast, but they never want to be they never want it the people who like swipe just because I think I'm cute. They're never, they don't want to be people that you would be getting to like to actually like see this kind of thing. Yeah, most. Yeah, it's just I mean, it's cool, because most of the people are very like are interesting people. So it hasn't been boring yet, but I wanted to get some people who, you know, are a little just like shallow, or want to be but one day, one day, okay. We're gonna move on to we're going to discuss your profile. And so basically, what's going to happen is I'm going to tell you why I think you picked a photo or a prop. Oh, nice. And I'm going to tell it and then you can explain why you really chose whatever right then nobody listeners at home they're not actually able to see these images. No, they're not so now. them okay. Yeah, so basically, yeah, I kind of describe what's happening in the photo and I do decided that everybody with a mustache is going to so far everybody who has mustache has this question. So you have a photo with a mustache and you have one right now, is this so women can imagine you as an old timey lighthouse keeper, but you probably won't go insane. And this is referring to the movie The lighthouse. Great movie. Fantastic. Best best film 2019 Now I'm sorry, what was your question? Do you want this? No, that is, that's what I imagine you post it. You're like, cuz Robert Pattinson. mustache is the true star of that. DREW. So if your question is, am I trying to be like Robert Pattinson? Generally speaking? Yeah, of course, if I could just like, embody the physique of Robert Pattinson. I would know hard for you. Do you think that you would go crazy if you were in a lighthouse? With a weird guy? Pirate talking? Yeah, within like, 48 hours? I think I would container it would take less. I think I would absolutely lose it. I do not like it. Or well, in like just sitting in my own brain. I like to do that. But I need to get out sometimes. And if I can't, then I go nuts. But you could walk around? What I don't know how much land they had. It was a rush. It was like, you know, 100 for the Americans at home 100 yards, give or take? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I was sort of right, you want to be the mustache. Or if you if you have if there's not a big thing, I just I started as the Nova Movember thing, like years ago now, and then I was just like, kind of kept it. And then COVID was nice, because then I could let it go through the like, the really awkward, like the short growth. And now it's kind of like the long bushy phase. And I keep trying to ask people who both have, like, you know, friends and non friends. Like, okay, tell me the mustache? Honestly. Is it a good look or not a good luck and know what's told the you know, been able to say at least like, with an honest face that it's not good, so I'm going to keep it highlights a nice way is the Tom Selleck? Is that who I'm thinking about some gray mustache? I think he's on. He's on friends. I feel like he, like made the mustache. Really. I'm looking him up. Now. Let me see. Oh, yeah, it is Thompson. I've gotten I've gotten comparisons to him. I've gotten there's been in public, like on the softball circuit last summer, and at a bar a couple of times, people will come and be like, Hey, you look just like this person. And look at us just like it's just a white dude with a mustache. So like Robin Williams, and I was so flattered. I don't see that. I don't see him in your face at all. But sure, yeah, that's who you look like. I do think that when people like mustaches, they like, I love mustaches. So like if I was out in public, and I saw you a big cool mustache, but now we have masks, you can seize it. But some people that I've met, like, I've only met them in the mask context, and then like, I took my mask off to like, What the fuck is that? That's amazing. Yeah. Okay. Okay, I think I got a pretty I got a pretty good kind of next next question, your favorite movie CO which is, quote, what is the ocean but a multitude of drops is this you telling your your, you know, matches that you're as deep as the ocean. Text for that quote is like, I dropped that quote. And that's a cloud from Cloud Atlas. It's also I know, from the book and from the movie as well. So as a cheat, I got the use of adaptation so I can get a book in there. Yeah, that is like an anarchist quote, essentially is like because it's a pretty anarchist story pretty anarchists book or just like anti establishment book. And that's kind of like a vibe and wave that I'm rolling on right now. Why do I pick that quote? I picked that quote, because I'm like, Okay, if anybody knows it, that's a pretty good sign. We've got something to talk about. If it comes off as a Cloud Atlas, you could talk about for hours in there. Yeah. It doesn't maybe come off as pretentious. Like, totally. Am I okay with that? I'm, uh, yeah, I don't I don't mind. I don't think that I don't think it's pretentious. I feel like it fair ask is just quoting a movie pretentious. It just feels like I don't know. Like, it's got the word multitude in it right? And things like this is just like, I just I just get worried about this kind of thing. If somebody wanted to ask, what does that mean? Like, that's good side too, because then they're just like, yeah, out. So that's why I dropped that in there as opposed to picking like, I don't know, a comedy quip or something like that. i This is more like something I picked like this is more speaking like, to me, I think specifically Yeah, but it's more I, I would say it's more you. I feel like it's a you thing. I feel like you're not trying to, like be someone else. I feel like lots of men like will pick a movie that they know girls like so they can make seem, ya know, they're nice. When I picked up my version Cloud Atlas. I had not read it yet. And, and not at the bookstore. And the woman selling it to me was like, This is my favorite book ever. And part of me wants to be like, find this person and ask them like, talk to them about this story. Yeah, it's one of these days. Like, I have no idea who that was. Yeah, sure. You know, this was before COVID. So it's like, you know, found other work and stuff. So Tam, it's also the word Wait, which, which storyline is the That's Adam? That's at the end of Adam Ewing. That's one of the last in the book. It's the last piece of because the book doesn't flip back and forth like the movie. The book goes like story 123456 And then a reverse orderly back down. So that's yeah, okay, that makes sense. Let's see at the cost of by his father in law, about cars, abolitionists and etcetera, etcetera. Yes. Okay, that makes sense. Okay, next question. From your together we could probably which public intellectual is the sexiest one to listen to on a date? Easily? Jobs? It wasn't even a question. Noam Chomsky. I think it's a good looking dude. I think and also just the way he speaks is like, just I don't know, hot as well. So you and your day it would be like hell yeah. This is one sexy and also listen enough Trotsky know, classics pretty, like, you know, anti American as well. So that's also another good good size for like, we get we love that one. Yeah, why not? anti American? Like, okay, I just mean, like, the bigger establishment that like, you know, the American politics, it's okay. America is I need to specify because I have so many wakens under the bus as a as a citizenry. I don't I this has to do I think it's like, I blame the establishment and Noam Chomsky is people that he's going after so yeah, yeah. I think most most of us would now that you're not going after us, I assume people who listen are kind of in the same realm of like, yeah, everything here is fucked up. And if you don't think that with everything that's going on in America, then let me not let me not pretend that this is like a lot of this debate. Here's, it's to a lesser extent, and there's some things that we don't have that I'm very thankful for, like this anti masker thing, at least in Ontario is like, yeah, not very good. At least not an urban Ontario where I am, but and also you have your healthcare, healthcare has got its drawbacks. It's underfunded as well. And so wait times are long, et cetera, et cetera, nurses are still just as similarly squished as they are in the United States, etc. But yes, it's like, you know, I tell many stories, not gonna be in debt. It's like, the drama starts off is like, this person got into huge medical debt and got desperate. That's like, I mean, Breaking Bad's the obvious example, but like, yeah, like Breaking Bad took place in like Alberta. Like he would just he would never have started cooking meth. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So you have that. I mean, that's, that's a plus you got some things going wrong, but you at least have that and, and go Canada for that. I just don't want to pretend that like I'm sitting in my eyes a Canadian tower and like, Oh, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, follow up question. Which nature Doc is the horniest horniest. Oh, easily my Octopus teacher. Without a question. Have you seen this? I haven't. I haven't. But I've heard so many people. It'd be like this guy. What's enough sex with bizarre sequences in the middle like the camera has gone up like full shot and he's talking for like 90 seconds straight. And you're like, it's kinda like, I feel like I shouldn't be watching this. This is too intimate of like, it's like this guy read the diary. Probably. I need a watch that I just don't know. I haven't been in a in a nature dark watching mood. And I think, I don't know. I try to watch them with my knees sometimes and they are Oh, my niece does not need to see the things that they show her that she's not quite there yet. She's a little bit afraid of some things, but maybe we could do. Is there anything terrible in my Octopus teacher? Or could I show her notable? Like there's the nature you know, getting eaten and trying to not get eaten kind of like general stuff. That doesn't show like show. It doesn't show does it show like a spoiler versus a main character in the story? I want it done. Don't tell me I'll just that Oh, watch your myself. She won't let me watch nature doc. She wants to watch the nature documentaries and trying to wonder. I don't think there is any because there's some on Disney. And I was like, Okay, this won't show like a port. Animals death. Oh, yeah, it does shows. A good one. Yeah, so we just go to the zoo instead. And which is another level of depressing, but she doesn't know that yet. So. Okay. Have you ever watched? I guess when did my Octopus teacher come out? Or watch that with a date got the Academy Award? I have not watched this with the date yet. I would be if someone's like, would be interested in like, explain the premise and the like, admin. That's another good sign information. Yeah. But also, like, I can understand someone's like, why would I want to watch that? I'm like, that's fair. But also like, I think that would be if somebody said, that sounds like the worst. I bet Get out of my head. A few people because I started that. Like, together, we could get high and watch these things. Right. And nature documentaries are especially good. If you're a little high. It's yeah. Yeah. So basically, yeah, I mean, I think that you just genuinely want to do those things with somebody is my guess why you actually put this why not? Don't play the game. This is. This is an invitation. Genuinely, that's what you feel like doing? Yeah, I'm not Yeah, the game the game out of it there. All right. Next question. Oh, this is okay. So every person, I feel like every man has like one photo that is a formal, like in a suit. And it's, I feel, I feel like you're doing it because you're like, look, how good have I cleaned up? Well, and I'm a great plus one. Is this true or not? Why you choose that? Or is it because usually at formal events, there's people taking pictures and you're like, I that's where that came from. That's from my very first I was just with my friend Chris. Today, actually, he took that photo. And he was at the wedding. And so he snapped that photo. I'd say before that one. I had a year and a half worth. We had no formal like photos. And yeah, like I never had. I was not in formal attire a lot. Yeah, so this one's more like someone's taking photos at a wedding. And someone who knows how to take photos is taking photos at a wedding. And they managed to catch like a shot, which I think is like a pretty good shot. And I think I'm like laughing at that. And yeah, it does. It looks like you're being a real good plus. So I think it works in your favorite you're like look, I'm talking and laughing Yeah, I don't if you can believe me, at least consciously think of like, how is somebody going to view this image when I put it up? I just I generally like, does this picture like look favorably upon me and then that's that's that's also I assume that about everyone? I just like you weren't building. I just pretend that people are thinking this much about the photos they are choosing and the prompts. Okay. The photo with you with the dog on your lap? Is this you telling us that draw dogs trust you like that? Dogs? Very chill. He's like, halfway asleep. Therefore, we can all trust you 100% That way 100% Dog photos big win on these dating apps from what I've been told. Actually, while that photo was taking was being taken I told my friends like oh, this is gonna be great for Tinder this for adults to get dogs into my so this dog is like my friends. My friend's dog. Yeah, and but yeah, and it looks like I honestly I like I know that statistically, it's good if you have a dog and I do think I really do think that dogs have like, like, if they trust you feel like you're a trustworthy person. Usually Sneaky. Sneaky, though is that I'm probably more of a cat person than a dog person. It's just, ya know, they're just like, getting a photo with a cat though. Yeah, they're, they are not they do not like it. I can tell you that. All right now trying to get a selfie with a cat is really, really difficult. Although I have one. That's really cool because my cat, it looks like her. Her like face is part of my face. I It's hard to explain. I cannot explain it. But I have a really cool photo where I look like a cat. Like we haven't merged into one, but I don't know if I would actually I probably would put that on a on a dating app. It's a fun. I have a lot of Catholics. Yeah. And I looked at somebody's profile and I see like a fun photo like that. I'm like, I'm pretty good. Yeah, it's good. Like they're, they're an entertaining person. Yeah. Okay. Our final question about your profile is what's your top dinner DJ song? Because you said you want to to share DJ angle with your future partner? Yes. Top what makes for good cooking music? Big Band stuff makes really good cooking music I think a lot so like, yeah, something Sinatra, Bobby Darren, Judy Garland. something along these lines. I pick one probably one of the big like, full orchestra not any of the sappy like solo pianos, not just stuff, but like the big full orchestra Bob. Yeah. Is it because you like to dance while you're cooking? So is that I feel like that's so that's such a like, I don't know, I've never had anyone be like, Come dance with me while we're cooking. But I would like that. That sounds like a fun time. This is like your dream, you kind of write up like you imagined, like put this into a script or in a scene in one of your stories or something like that. romantic fantasy, I feel like every single, like script that has like a romance in it. For a while I would put them dancing. And then people were like, Martin, this happens in every one of your scripts. I was like, Oh, great, I gotta change it. But dancing is I don't know, I'm not a great dancer either. But, like, I love it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're good. It's a good balance of like, it's intimate, but it's not like, you know, super private, right? So you can like, yeah, you know, in public, or if somebody at the room is gonna walk in whatever doesn't matter, or anything. Yeah, I don't know. I remember, there was one time. So I used to work at Urban Outfitters, and it was before, like, Spotify or anything. And so we had like, a giant CD player, and it broke. And so they were like, oh, we need to have somebody's iPod on. Because the the music isn't working. And I was like, Oh, I volunteer because I was like, I made good playlists at that time. And while it was working, I think it was a she and him song. So what's his name? And there was a couple that started dancing in like, in the entrance of Urban Outfitters, and I was like, I made this beautiful moment happen. I am the best person. It was so cute. And I yeah, it made my wife I was like, These people are the cutest thing. And it's all because of me. I'm a great, I'm a great DJ. Yeah. So I understand that. Okay, we're gonna move on to do you have any good? Bad, good, bad dating stories from from the apps? I just assume most people's bad stories are from the apps because you don't like oh, I don't usually like I only know from friends who are like show up and they're like, this person to buy got coffee with his ex secretly a psycho like that is never happened to me. Because it probably women are less likely to be psychos than then if I had to guess. Yeah, outright, like bad date. So it's like I picture the bad date is like you're like 10 minutes and you're like this was a horrible mistakes. Never that that's not me. But it's like, this is uncomfortable thing where, you know, I was seeing somebody a few times. And I can tell that it's like, it's not going to be a thing. So this is like this, you know, over like this, you know, next hour or so, you have to resolve this, like, this cloud is in my head. And so I'm like half checked out of what we're doing kind of thing and anybody with any kind of functioning emotional radar can pick this up. And so it's just like, this tense moment of like, so what's going on and after, you know, at least let loose at the end like, Yeah, this is where I see us I don't see as being like a thing kind of kind of deal. Yeah, but I usually am not good at like, you know, I don't know how to say that without hurting somebody's feelings might be impossible, right? But like, I've let it drag for much more than you need to like I remember one was like, I could see very starkly that this like, this woman wanted to like lead across and like kiss me at thing and I didn't want this. But it was like at least a moment where she like leaned in and it was like, you know, no, never got there. But there had to be there. was like, Yeah, I this is not going to happen. Yeah, no. facepalm It's just like that was probably I wouldn't count that under the, you know, the capital B, capital D bad date category. Yeah, like, you know, just awkward moment, I would say, Yeah, I have a problem where I don't know how to end dates. And so I think lots of the men that I've been on dates with are like, wow, we hung out for so long. She must like for you. And it's really I was like, I let's stop this. Yeah. And I think also, I don't know, I are. When you go on a date with a woman and she's not into it. Does she? Has anyone been like, I'm not into this? Or are they always really nice because, like, for me, I was trained by society to just to be really nice to people. And I think people think that means I like them. It has anyone been like, No, I don't like Like, honestly, not that much. I haven't been on like that many dates that haven't. Like, you know, I haven't dated like a lot of people in you know, a few dates level anyways. So, like, I feel like mostly it's been that I'm not interested. And I haven't seen like the opposite. Yeah. Kinda. Yeah. But that's Yeah, cuz I've only been on this is what happened, like two or three times? Yeah, I just, for some reason, when I think like, I'll just like, act normal and be nice to them. And then they act like a woman has never treated them this nicely before. And I'm like, Are women just like, being like, No, thanks. And I'm like, I wish I could be like that. I don't know. No, I wish I could just be straight up. But I'm not. I don't know. My dating. Like, history has to be like, pretty, I would say like, emotionally healthy, I would say. Yeah, except for your breakups, always tough and stuff. But like, just generally speaking, it hasn't been a lot of like, you know, I've never felt like women don't treat me nicely, just like all women. Yeah, that's no, no, that's not it. I think, maybe in my brain. I see these bad going on lots of dates. And it's really, they just are grateful that I'm going on. Yeah. Well, for me, like, these people, I'm like, you know, was this person ever like showing like reciprocal interest? Because I'm, because I have a hard time. You know, I think this is pretty logical. Getting into the feeling for anything for anybody who doesn't like, Yeah, show any signs of being able to so you never, like run away. Just be like, Oh, this is the person I'd want to date. Like right now, if they're not showing me I think are like pretty strong science of the same thing. Like, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I don't think all men have that. I think you're one of the few that that's aware of, most the time, I don't end up updates with people, like I'll chat on the chat on the apps, whatever. And I'm like, this is kind of obvious to me within like the first, like, 10 messages if it gets that far if there's something to work with here. So that makes sense. All right. We're gonna talk. I mean, I'm gonna ask you some Would You Rather Oh, excellent. For some fun ones. These are ones that I thought were hard to, to. I don't know. They might not be hard, but I think they're hard. Okay. Ooh. Would you rather? Would you rather wake up in your underwear at work? Or make it in the woods? 20 miles from home shit? Oh, good one. I'd have to take the woods, I think because I like I've dreamed about the work thing or like the school thing. Like, this is actually like, you know, this is like a meme. Like, you know, recurring dream to have but like, I actually have these things and it sucks. And I feel like the woods I could just like, you know, roll around the dirt a little bit and people will give me more sympathy and pity. I crawled out of the woods like the no clothes on, like disheveled. Yeah. And I'd be like, This person needs help. I'm like, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I felt like it really depends on your job. And that one, it would be very inappropriate for you to show up. Yeah, if I was in class. For me, it's like, I take care of a child. And so it would be weird for me to be the underwear. But I would just like like, Oh, cool. I'll just use some of my sister's clothes. And that would be resolved. And yeah, for women big 20 That would just be so good. 24 Actually, that's that's like, I have a chance of dying. But you know what, I'll take it. Good for you. Okay, let's see. Would it would you rather pee through your mouth every time or have your best friend pee in your mouth and wonder what the Okay, Yeah, this is interesting because as as a dude, like, yeah, it's like somewhat visible to other people in the bathroom. So if I rest I probably could call on my I have some people I could probably call on this for like, you know, a one time thing is I feel like I have to do this or I'm in a tough spot to explain this to you. And I have a couple of people who believe that okay, man Yeah, it's like yeah, that's me. It's possible. Yeah, well, we'll make sure what what is it jelly fish, but we'll just make it pretend that you got to jelly fish. That's my your mouth or? Yeah. And so I need to. Yeah. Okay. This one's actually a very interesting one. I right away know my choice. And I, but I don't know, I don't know how I would feel about this. Would you rather have a daughter with Hulk powers or a son with Beyonce is talent. I feel like I feel like I take the odd state for sure. Because like the whole little like, destructive and like what do you do with it? What can you do with Hulk powers? Besides to be the whole good? Like, that just doesn't sound like a good life for anybody. And also, it seems like you would have a lot of pressure on your shoulder. Yeah. Like if there was a society, superhumans and like the real world, like you'd get like, messy, quick, politically, like there's the what's the boys on this? Yeah, right. This is what I feel like someone's like, Oh, you got hold powers, like what do you do? And I was like, I don't know, I guess saved people or something where it's like, you know, Beyonce, like saves people to but like, in a much less pressure way. And plus, if you ever son had Beyonce is power, you would probably, I don't know, get money, your life would be so much fun. Probably the life would be so much more fun. Amy Winehouse, his dad or something like this? And yeah, you just be like Beyonce is mom Beyonce. His mom was very supportive of her and made her costumes and stuff. I would love to if my son was like, Mother, please make me a costume. You bet your ass I would make the coolest cash. Yeah, actually, I probably make my sister do that. But that would be amazing. Thing and had any musical talent. I'd be stoked, because I really like big music being sold. And dance and like, just be it. I don't know why anyone would pick Holck. But but I thought maybe somebody would. One day. I need two more people. Well, so I have a bunch. I'm an acid to another person. But eventually I will. And I'm curious. I don't know if I could trust someone who would pick that way. Yeah. Okay, last one. Would you rather lose the ability to lie or believe everything you're told? Oh, that's sucks either way either. Those are? Those are terrible. Yep. Hawk I feel like today, just like the safer bet for everyone around me is that if I you know, believe and be unable to lie, I think that would be the one that's just like cause less destruction. Like, yeah 100% gullible mode that would be like I would I would break a lot of bridges burn a lot of bridges. They're gonna be good. And also like, I mean, if we're thinking about this in depth dislike. Like, if you learn to fit like two opinions that are different, that are differing, does it like just the last one you're told is the one you believe that's how I would interpret that that is just like your mind gets wiped out every single time someone tells you think imagine like scrolling through Twitter on the web with this because it'd be terrible your brain would be much yeah, yeah, I love lying but lying. Like let's not let's like lying is like essential to the society that like Little Lies are like essential big lies are problematic, but like Little Lies are the foundation of our our social order. I do I think that cave so like, I'm pretty good at doing little lies, but I read sometimes I'll have like something that really is the truth. And I'm, I act like it's a lie. And I don't know why it happens to me. Like, my physicality is like, oh, March is lying right now, but I'm not. Why is my brain your brain does it Yeah, but I'm also bad at lying. I feel like Yeah, so, like, I already if someone's like asked me like, did you do this? I can't just tell them like, no. Like that. That's not the kind of it's more like, these gentle little like lies by omission type stuff that I do, like are exceptionally common that everybody needs to be good at. In some Yeah, some way. But yeah, yeah, that's true. I'm but mostly I lied to like people that I the lies that I tell are to people that aren't important to me. So that's right, like I will do big lies to people that I don't know, like that. That yes, that's easy, but, or to like embellish and make something more interesting. I do that a lot. Especially in standup like most of my jokes, like something similar happened to me, but I'm making it more funny. I was terrible at stand up. Yeah. And writing. Yeah, same thing writing writing stories. And same. Yeah, yeah. All right. Now we're going to talk about you kind of talked about this. Is there any red flags that you see on profiles where you're like, definitely, no. Oh, laughed. I think like, if I get the vibe that somebody's like, conservative and not not like joking, and this incorporates, like, people who aren't like socially conservative, but are like all about the the rat race and joining the corporate empires and so on. As you can tell them pretty leftist. So it's like, I just couldn't imagine really sharing a life with that kind of person. So yeah, that's kind of a Pez. It's, you know, this is a whole thing, rather really dive into right now. But just like, on the topic, like this is just a left swipe. Just like, just like, Yeah, I've opened this can of worms. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Anything else? If I get the vibe, there are some people who are like, each and every one of their photos is obviously a very highly curated like Instagram, social media type photo. I'm also like, not really like something I'm drawn to. It's just not kind of like I don't have Instagram. I don't have a lot of social media. And um, it's not really in to merging with that kind of life as well, either. So yeah, you don't want to be an Instagram boyfriend and follow and also be but somebody who's trying to be like, you know, always on Instagram and making a lot of stuff like I'm not I just can't really see the mix there. Yeah, either. Yep. That makes sense. What about any, like, green flags where you're like, immediately? Yeah, swipe right. If someone's playing music, or is like, you know, some people put videos on stuff like I think all of them have videos. Now. I lose track sometimes. The apps Yeah, I don't know. But if someone's playing music, or is that like new stuff, I'm, I'm, I'm sad because I'm just starting like playing music with other people in the last like, few years. Yeah, I've started to get into it. I enjoy it. Like a lot. And I'd imagine that yeah, if I was being with somebody, you know, the partner who was into that, that'd be pretty cool. I'm also, I guess, on the political thing, if I get the vibe that anybody is kind of tuned into the like, the world is kind of fucked. And like, breaking apart. Yeah. At the seams a little bit. Like, yeah, I wouldn't want to get into somebody's full like, full doomsday. Like, we got to build a bunker right now. Or, Yeah, but you know, just as long as somebody who's alert to those that ignorant of the entire world, or the dooms people people like actually crazy, I can't tell just yet I like yeah, probably in the doomsday cancer. To me, it feels like this is kind of just self evident. Like a lot of this stuff is kind of crumbling. But yeah, yeah. Anyone who's like, vaguely in that realm, like Okay, so this is a good starting point. We don't have to like, get into there. Yeah, yep. Yep. That makes sense. Anything, anything else? Oh, I think that's mostly it. I would say yeah. What if what would be the perfect first date for you? I tend to say like nothing really elaborate slice. Something straightforward. Like I'm honestly like a dinner and a movie kind of thing. Like I feel like that's not great for first date because he can't talk through the movie and so yeah, so like, a big fan of the just getting outside too. So people want to go for a walk that's great. And usually if it's a first date you wanna pick a park not like you know what the woods or something that's that's area Yeah, we don't want to suggest afraid of murders. Yeah, first aid. Let's go beat this. You know, I'm charted for a second. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, something with this like a lot of like, time to talk, I would think. Yeah. I don't think in my brain, I don't think there is a perfect first date. I don't like first day. That was my opinion. I think they're, they're bad. And it's like, awkward and unless it's like somebody that you have known for a long time, and it's like, you have a crush on them, and then I take your first date, that's the best kind of first date. The first dates are not fight. Yeah, great. It's almost like interviews. Yeah, to do that. The whole struggle of like, who are you? And what are you doing? Where do you come from kind of stuff that like, you can kind of skip over eventually. But it's like this. And this is the exhausting thing about dating, right? Just constantly renewing that discussion. And you got to start from scratch every single fucking time. It's like, yeah, I was like, wow, astrophysicist, is when people say I'm like, as kind of put my face in the hands. You know, this is not the response. Right? Because as you can see, I do during the day, like promise. Not Yeah. So stupid. Yeah. And like, it's just nice to get over that. In some Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think the last date I went on, and just talked about how anxious I was. That person never talks. Like, that's fair. You know, that's very fair. Dude. I basically I was talking about, like, how my sister's a hypochondriac. And he was like, Oh, God. And the worst thing is, he was like, in med school, so but he was like, this girl is just gonna ask me medical questions. I hate this by Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was a bad time. So my last acts of the med student at the time we were dating, like, you know, it's nice ticket, because like, doctors get paid a shit ton of money. Yeah. Hell yeah. And I love being I love being alone. And so it's like, they are working. Perfect, perfect for me. But then your lead time to miss them. And so when they get back, yay, right? Or this particular relationship, it was like, Hey, I saw I'm always working. And then when I come back, I want to like, do all this intense stuff. And like for doing like, you know, intense. This is like we're a year in and it's like, yeah, we're doing like Instagram worthy date moments and stuff like this. And I was like, that was part of the start of where I saw like a rift between us in terms of being like, a one and a half year thing versus like, five year plus thing. That's where I started to see the signs started starts to Yeah, that would be difficult to expect. And, you know, I kind of like war, just things that I've learned in reflection. I was like, I could have been mature and brought these things up. But at the time, I was thinking whether this is right or wrong. I was thinking like to suggest such a thing, which is just that she changed herself. And I wouldn't want Yeah, to make such an Ask kind of thing. That feels really unfair. Yeah. So yeah, I saw it more as like, we're not really a fit and made the call for both of us and like shattered her heart into a million pieces. And like, I still feel bad about it. And this is part of my anxiety, but it will pop it will be I think that will probably be the best for her. She just doesn't realize it yet. That's what I think about mice. That's what I have only been dumped in my life. And I always get really shattered. But then after a while, I'm like, You know what? I people tell me I deserve better than that. Whatever that person was, and I know now I believe them. So that's great. We'll see who's crossford I haven't talked to her since. So fingers crossed. Oh, no. That's okay. We'll just pretend pretend she's having a great time with some. Okay, are you ready for last question? Okay. So my mom and actually one of my sisters thinks that if I met Harry Styles in real life, not as a fan as an equal, okay. Do you think they think that I could make him fall in love with me? Do you agree easily? I'd say it takes like it takes like, you know, a dinner that was a bit dinner with Harry Styles. I honestly, if he was in Salt Lake City, I would take him to my favorite. It's called Red iguana. I think the it's like this cool little place that's very Salt Lake City centric. Sounds charming. Even there's this place that's in a convenience store. So it's like, basically like a gas station. But in the back. There's like, some it's like kabobs and stuff. And I think it would just I feel like he's too famous to take to a good place. I'd have to take him to like a hole in the wall. But like, this is what it's like to live in the real world. Like I love it because He's never known right? He's always been always been famous since he was a child basically. So I believe this is what real people eat. And it's good food. Of course I I think that it's I don't know, I feel like expensive food is overrated sometimes. So I'm personally more like like, what are the peasants eat? Where do you go to like afford concrete? Like that's that's Yeah, exactly. So yeah, take him to one of those plays easily make him fall in love with me Do you want to share a very fun and exciting fact. Joey has found a girlfriend via dating app because I made him download it for this podcast. So basically I make love happen. I make love happen. I hope you enjoy that lots of people are curious about my Pankow. He's like the coolest guy so you get to experience that firsthand. And I hope you liked it. Follow us on social media if you feel like it. It'll be listed in the description of a podcast I'll I just don't feel like saying it every time okay. Just look with your eyes if you're interested, but most people who listen are already following me so whatever. Okay, see you next time.