Good Pal Quinci

This week's episode is girlie time! Two ladies chatting up what it's like to be a woman on the apps!
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Sound supervisor B.T. Measles.

Transcript

Unknown: 0:03

Hello, and welcome to the pursuit of happiness podcast. I'm your host, Marta, I must do something a little different lady and that lady. And we discuss things like, not understand name negging. It makes no sense to us and also not thinking that much about shampoo. So that sounds interesting to you, would you choose? Okay, Quincy, are you ready? We're gonna start with our icebreaker, which is not scary for you. It's scary for the men who have to answer this question. But have you ever received a dick pic? And if you want to roast this person, please, by all means roast them. You know, I have never received a dick pic. Never before in my life. And this conversation came up a couple of years ago and in my group of friends. And I was just like, I've never got one. And they were all just shocked, just astonished. And I'm like, I don't know whether I should be flattered about that or not. That I wouldn't have because I so I for most of my I once had someone try to send me one. But it was a video. And so I knew not to click on the video. And I was like, What the hell are you doing? But yeah, I think I think it's because hopefully that men, I mean, men are usually not afraid of any thing. And they'll just like, throw it out willy nilly. But I like to think that they would be afraid what I would do with it. I think that's the energy hopefully, that I put out is like, if you send this to me, I'm gonna send to your grandma. Maybe you have a similar maybe mean you have similar energy. So like, I do this. It's I feel like my go to would just be to send the laughing emoji specifically the one that's like, yeah, crying and turns. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I agree. Make them feel very insecure about it. If they send it to you, like, make them wish that they didn't I think that should be everybody's unless, you know, according to the men that I've interviewed on this, some people ask for them. Which, you know, all power to you so great. But, unsolicited? Yeah. Not okay. I mean, I feel like that just takes so much gall to just be like, a person that I've been on one date with or haven't gone on a date yet. Here's my take. And I was just like, what? Yeah, I just don't understand, like, why a guy would think that unless he's in a relationship with this woman, why she would want to see his junk. That is, yeah, the person that sent it to me, I hung out with him when I was like, 19. And this literally happened like two years ago. So I was like, eight years later, and I was like, he was like, sorry, a drug. And I was like, that's not I'm sorry, but that's not a good excuse. Like, get out of here. It's not a good excuse, but clearly you are. Hopefully. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you some questions just so like, our podcast listeners can know you a little bit. And what I think helps me know people is what is your favorite movie? Today? Because I know it probably change days. It does change. Oh, man, you know, my current. My usual go twos is my favorite day and that's the crow with Brandon Lee. Oh, yes. I don't think isn't it wasn't made in the 90s. Is that? Okay, okay. 1994 Yeah, I feel like they played it. They like played one of the like, Halloween shows that they do and so like, but I don't I haven't seen it, but I'm gonna watch it now. Okay, it's very good. It is. Somewhat, there is some sort of bitter sweetness to it because Brandon Lee, the lead actor was killed on set in an incident kind of like what happened on rust this last year? Yeah. And so it's, it's really kind of tragic to watch it as you are watching this guy. And he's so talented. And he was supposed to be Neo in the Matrix. Like he was working with the Macau skis. So that was supposed to be him. He had I mean, if he hadn't died, like you're being like, the Keanu problem, probably so but it's also very wonderful to watch because it's such a good movie and like a fairly finished with love and like they wanted to do this because it was his passion project as well. So they finished it for him and it's it's Just enemies. Well, you talked me into it. Okay, next question. Similar ish. Favorite music. And if you don't can't say that, like, if you have Spotify your top Spotify artists or like anything that today's favorite your favorite song or artist of the day? Always favorite. Oh queen. Yeah, the tattoo I've got oh yeah, me I've got the little Queen shrine on this. That's yeah. That Yeah. Can't be Freddie Mercury's vocals that's for sure. How do you feel about Adam Lambert singing with them? I like it. I've seen a couple of like online videos of it. He does really well with them. I watched the documentary I think it's called The show must go on with clean and Adam Lambert. Yeah, I think he's, I think he's, I mean, obviously, nobody's ever going to be Freddie Mercury. Yeah. And I think one of the things that he says in the documentary, he's just like, I knew I couldn't go into this trying to be him. I had to be yourself. But with Queen and I think he really succeeds about that. Yeah, it's a great voice too. But yeah, nobody can replace Freddie. I agree with that. Yep. But awesome. And then what do you do for your job? You don't have to say where you work, just cuz. stalkers and whatnot? What do you do? I am an actor and filmmaker. First and foremost. That's what I do. I do have a day job. But and I love that day job and it's great. But my my main focus, that's who you are. I get that. Yeah. Perfect. Okay, our last question, and I asked everyone this and you can interpret it in whatever way you want. Okay, is what's wrong with you? You know, that's a really good question. I am in therapy, trying to figure that out. So great. First step, great. There's what's wrong with me, God, there's so many things that are wrong with me. Like, I don't know how deep we want to go into this. If we want to keep it lighthearted. If we want to ever be good, whatever you feel like sharing. I, we're all ears. But it's up to you. One thing that I will share that I've gotten a lot more comfortable because like once I realized it, like oh my god, it's so true. I do have some abandonment issues, which is why when I'm in a really serious relationship, and that ends, it just, it's like, where are you? Back? And I know a lot of people can relate to that. So yeah, that's one of the reasons why I'm in therapy is to work on. I think everyone in the world should use therapy, especially. Especially. Yeah, and now especially now and especially men. Oh, okay. So now we're gonna move on to our next segment, which is our over generalized questions for women. And I, I got all of these from the internet. I think mostly because all of my followers, my most of my followers are women. And so it's like, they're not gonna tell half they don't have hankering questions about women. So this is from like, a random article. And it's just like, these are the most asked questions from men. Okay, here's question number one. Why do women say they don't want gifts? If they do, and maybe you're not this type of woman, but let's, we're just gonna take a guess. Like, why do you think women say that? Let me see, I'm gonna try toward this as best I can. I think it's because in my mind, I think it comes off as like, I don't want you to think that I expect you to get it because that makes can come off as me being a gold digger or something along those lines. Like, I really do think it has something to do with that, like, Oh, I'm, I don't expect you to do all of that stuff. But I really do. But yeah, I think also, like, it's one of those things where you want someone like you don't want it to tell someone to give you a gift. And you don't want them to have to ask you like, you want the relationship to be like, Oh, I know this. This woman is gonna really appreciate this gift because they know you. That's kind of what I think it is. You want someone who knows you enough to be like, obviously, she would really appreciate this thing that I'm getting her you know, yeah, that's how I That's how library for I mean, I feel like if I told someone I mean because I tell people all the time on my birthday. I'm like, don't get me anything. I just want to know hang out, go out for a few drinks have fun, like, presents are not an obligation. People still do get me presents, but that kind of makes it better because I didn't tell them. I told them no, I didn't tell them anything specific and it means a lot more because they'll give me something that they know that I'll like, yeah, friend got me. My little Freddie Mercury popped out one year, even though I told her Don't get me in prison. And that was really nice. Because that was like, specific to me. Yeah. So and yeah, you didn't even I didn't have to, like add any extra pressure or anything. Yeah. And I think that's also like, if you've been with someone for a while, you kind of figure out their love language. And it's like if gifts giving, receiving gifts, they should know that by the time they're giving you gifts. Again, some men are clueless about these things. Yeah, it just feels weird to be like, yeah, you have to give me a gift. Yeah. So people are awesome. And just like, say that good for women who are just like, Yeah, you better give me you require gifts. Yeah, yeah. Okay, next question. Why do girls get so much satisfaction from cuddling? Because it makes you feel safe. It makes you feel safe and loved and appreciated to just be laying there in the arms of someone that you love and someone that you care about. Like, that's why I love covering them. Just like this is so nice. I'm just with this person who could potentially be the person that I'm with all the time, and he makes me feel taken care of. And that's great. Like, that's why that's what cuddling is supposed to do. Yeah, I also think it's like, it's weird that people don't, I can't actually understand how men don't understand why it's great. But I think it's also like, nice when it's like, oh, they're not just trying to like have sex with me all the time. Sometimes it's just like, nice to know that they're just not going to try to, you know, yeah, get that when you don't feel like it when you just want a nice little warm cuddle. Yeah. I was gonna say I saw, I think a tick tock video that was on Facebook a while ago, and it was a guy talking about how most men when they think of physical intimacy, they only think of sex like that's what physical intimacy is. But the fact of the matter is, is that physical intimate, that's like, that's sexual intimacy. physical intimacy is cuddling. It's hugging. It's holding hands. And it was really cool video because he's like, we need to, like, break this stigma. So that way, men just aren't always thinking like, Oh, she's cuddling. Let's have sex, because physical intimacy is. Yeah, tic TOCs. Like, great because it shows. It shows I just like gone on. So I'm like, all of these things are being shoved into my face. But it's like, there's very, the people, the men that have podcasts, there's the really terrible misogynistic podcasts, but then you're like, I hate all men. Why? Why this planet is full of dirt bags, but that you get like people who like are actually genuinely trying to help people connect and you're like, Okay, hopefully. I mean, I would think that guys who think there's like alphas and betas, like there's no hope for them. Because they're not gonna listen to a guy and talk to them about cuddling. They're just like, cuddling. Yeah. Oh, those men. Their fall areas, though. Watching the people roast them is the best. Okay, this is a weird one. But I guess I Okay, why do girls like to use their own shampoo? Even if you have some they can borrow? I never even have thought about this. But I but I do like to use my if I didn't have shampoo, I would probably use it. Yeah. I, I've never really I've never given that a thought. If I'm in a shower, like even if I'm at a hotel or something, and I forgot my own champ who it's like I use what's, what's there. And I guess. I mean, some people like spend a lot of money on their hair. So they probably have, like, their shampoo that they use, but I've never like, I wouldn't be like, I have to bring my own shampoo. Unless I was like, I don't know over there a lot that I pay. Because my shampoo smells like nice. That's the only reason is because I like the smell of it. Um, okay, yeah, so that was a weird one, which I've never really thought about, but I don't know. I mean, if I was staying If I was just staying over at the guy's house, I wouldn't even think about it if it got to the point where we were more serious, and I was splitting time between them. Yeah, I've only had my own shampoo. But other than that, I've never thought about that at all. Me neither. I was like, I didn't know that that was something that lots of girls, they just bring their level shampoo with them. They're gonna go Okay, last one. We'll cut it off here. Okay. This one's weird, too, because I so do this. But why did girls complain so much about food, but enjoy it so much? I don't complain about like, yeah, I don't understand that one. Like, I have stomach issues. But I don't complain about the food that give me stomach issues. I complain about my stomach. I love food. Right. I don't complain about it. I wonder what this stems from girls that are like, mad about the girls who are maybe more calorie conscious or something like yeah, it seems like you would you wouldn't complain about the actual food you would complaint? I don't know. Not comprehensive, I guess it would probably be. Yeah, they're conscious about maybe what they're eating. And if you're at a dude's house, I had an ex boyfriend who would like only eat oatmeal. And so he just had oatmeal. And I was like you can't I? You just live off of oatmeal. This is not good enough for me. We need to get more food so that I guess it's kind of complaining. In my early 20s, I dated a guy in my early 20s. And no joke one day I went over there and all he had in his fridge was go Gurt that was it. This seems like it's not going to sustain you for very long. Yeah, it's definitely not going to sustain me so we should I go grocery shopping young young men in their 20s When they were like move out of their parents house. I think it's a new strip. I would think that you would be like Hell yeah, I'm gonna buy. I mean, when I moved out, I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna buy all the stuff I ever wanted when I was a kid. Yep, that was exactly what I did when I moved in. I went grocery shopping and like everything that I could never have before. Lots of Lunchables. Lunchables I was always jealous of so I'm like, Yeah, I'm gonna display. I got over that real quick. So it's not very, you know, it doesn't feel Yeah, but I don't understand complaining about food in general, because I love food. Food is amazing. And I will eat it. Most things. My family says I'm a picky eater, but I'm not. I just don't like mushrooms. That's not that's a picky eater. Yeah, everybody has that one thing that they don't like. Mushrooms are slimy. I like it. This is where I like raw mushrooms like in a salad. But when there are 22 slimy, good here, mushrooms. See an exact opposite on that. I think that most people are because the texture is really weird when they're off, but I love them personally. I don't know why I love them. Okay, next segment. Okay, so do you have your profiles near you? Yes. Let me open up. I only have hinge. Okay, that's perfect. Yeah. So what I've realized from doing this is that men do not think about their profiles at all. Like, I So basically, what I usually do is I tell them why I think they chose the pictures or the prompts. And then usually they're like, Oh, I just don't have very many pictures of myself. But how about you? How do you break down your profile? Do you think about it? Or let's hear about your inspiration? I feel like I do because I don't care for this whole online dating thing. I'm very much I have. I like to meet people in person so that I can get a read off of them. Because I have to know like, for me, it's like I have to know you before I'm gonna go get coffee with you alone. And I know that we're in a public space, but that was someone that I don't know. So I put a lot of I feel like I did because I want my personality to shine through and I want to have as much transparency is I can get as far as like what I'm looking for what I want out of it. So I definitely put a little, a lot of thought into it. And I think I think women, yeah, I think we kind of have to because just men will will read into weird things. So, so why so what's it? Is it just because you think hinge chat, why hinge out of all of them? Um, honestly, it's the only one that I kind of enjoyed building the profile and I liked. I just liked the setup of it. And because I didn't care for Bumbles, like, oh, ladies swipe first, and then men can swipe right on you, but you have to get a $17 monthly weekly subscription to see who those men are, and tenders just for hookups. And that's not what I was really interested in. So I had Bumble for a while I deleted that. And then I've deleted and reinstalled hinge a couple of times within the last year as well. But I personally just feel like it works. Well, I say works very loosely. Maybe because I'm still single. So it clearly hasn't worked for me. But I just like the layout of it. And I think it's really easy to navigate start conversations with people. You can buy roses if you want and like favorite people that way. But you don't. You don't have to have a subscription to get like all of the perks for it. So yeah. You know, I was gonna say you can put like videos on it, which is I felt like a game changer. And like, the voice. Yeah, the voice when they work, man, their people are funny. If they use it correctly. It's like, Damn, that's what sells me. I got kicked off hinge because of I was I'm trying to weasel back in. I guess I have to be I was just too. I don't want to like trick people into coming. So I was like, very obvious like about it. But I think I can't do that. I think I have to trick people into doing it. I'm gonna be like, Hey, I'm actually here for podcast. Yeah, I feel like hinge has was actually the most successful to get people on podcasts, which means I think they're just like, cooler people that I get from it, too. Yeah. Yeah, bumble just seems like very serious. Like everyone there really wants to like, go on dates and stuff. Which is why it's there. It's just like, it's interesting to get the different reactions from people from hinge to Bumble. Okay, so next question. Can you think of the weirdest thing anyone has said to you on the apps, like the weirdest pickup line or just conversation starter? I know one guy commented on my very first photo and it's a head shot. I've put headshots on there just because I don't always take good selfies and, and my guess for it was like my best Blue Steel. So it was like a real serious, like, glamour shot of me. And he commented, he was like, Oh my gosh, great pic. I love girls with blue eyes. They're like, well, bro, Heiser green. And you can very clearly see that in the photo that my eyes are gray. It's a headshot. But guys are very made sure to make that stand out. Yeah. Just days ago, I had a guy like me on it. And I don't remember everything that he said. But his response was like something to one of my prom, I think because one of my prompts is like, I just want like, be open if you want to like date or casually if you if you're looking for something more serious, just like let me know. So I know what to expect. And he's just like, oh, yeah, totally. I think transparency is always the best and communication is key. He's just like, I really enjoyed going through your profile today. Thanks Quincy. And I'm just like Did he Did he like it stopped that conversation there? He was just like, oh, or was he? Weird? Like the comment that you left on so like, you know, people like you and they can leave a comment on whatever it is that they choose to like. And that was just the comment that he left on it. So I haven't matched with him or anything, but I'm just like, that was very formal. Yeah, I had I had to got actually I don't know because sometimes like, I don't know if there's a glitch that sometimes makes the same person show up on your even if you said you were interested. And I remember there was it might have been two people might have been the same guy but they commented, I hope that your life is as good Beautiful is your smile. Like, and I got it twice. And I don't know if it's the same time like are people like googling like best things to say? Like, did he come up with something that they're like, somewhere out? I'm sure there's somewhere out in the universe like guide to how to get matches with women. I honestly it was, it was I was like, that's pretty cute, but I don't remember. I'm think I got kicked off before I respond. So yeah, yeah, cool. I don't know with that kind of response. It's like, so high. Do you? Yeah. Do you want to continue this conversation or are we just are passing through? You just want to tell me it's yeah, kind of sounds like Have a nice life. Okay. See, I guess. Yeah, yeah, I also had this man who I was peer pressured into matching with from Instagram because I shared like, I find it very strange when very conservative people match with me because I'd say that I'm not conservative. And I one day I'm going to work up to my podcasting skills. I can maybe have those type of people on, but yeah, I can't Yeah, I can't Yeah, because it's very hard for me. But yeah, but he was I was like, Oh, does this mean what you want to be on a podcast is like, Whatever, whatever. As long as I get to talk to you, I was like, No, I can't. I can't. Because like, um, yeah, so immediately, it was like, okay, this person will have my email address. And I don't feel comfortable with that. So I didn't do it. But yeah. Out here. Wild. Okay. I stopped sharing because I know on hinge, maybe you can do it on Bumble. I can't remember. But I like you can share your Instagram. Yeah. And I stopped doing that. Because I would have guys like, go through and find me and then message me on Instagram. Like before I'd even seen if they liked me or anything. And I'm just like, we're on the app for a reason. This is not an excuse for you to slide into my DMs ya know? Like, yep. Apparently, there is what I've heard from the the dudes I've interviewed. A lot of women just use dating apps to get people to follow them. Oh, like they, they're just like, hey, follow me on here. And you can talk to me on Instagram. And obviously it works. Yeah, I can see that, that that actually makes a lot of sense to me. And also, there's a lot of a women on there trying to help them with their profiles. I've learned a lot about the about data gaps from the interviews that I've done. Anything else that you feel like do you have like a certain picture that you are like, okay, so you have hinge, and they you see which ones they respond to the most? Which is it a is it a photo of you? Is there one of the things that like most men like when they see your profile? I'm always curious about Yeah. I'm trying to say I think it's either I don't know that I hid myself view. So I would stop looking at myself. Oh, yeah, that's a smart idea. And see the picture, which is me on set holding an umbrella. Or, and then it's probably a tie between this one which is my blue steel. Yes. Look. Yeah. And then up sorry. Yeah. Okay. And then this one, we're, I'm out. Again, with a camera. So people really, like respond to me being in my element, which is Yeah, that's actually really? Yeah, that's awesome. That people do you think and do they, like talk to you about it? Or is it okay, yeah, cuz when I made mine, I was like, Okay, I'm just going to use a photo that I know guys are gonna like, and it's usually like the one cute photo of me, but if I was on it for serious times, I would want to make it as weird and as my personality as much as I possibly can. Yeah, would you say that the blue still gets more likes than conversation starters. Or recently? Yeah, definitely. Hey, I hate it when I would just like I like no, you are disqualified. I actually put it on. The like, my description is like if you just like my photo, you're automatically disqualified and people that still do it, proof that they don't read bios. You Yeah, I mean, it's not that I don't I like that. People like it, but at the same time, it's just like, really? That's all you're gonna do not. Hey, great picture. Yeah, something to station. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's either a like or if it's just add emoji because then I'm just like, What am I supposed to respond back to just the flame emoji? That's not. Yeah. Not the greatest. Do the water droplets emoji. So it's like putting that did do that. That would be amazing. Why? Next time, next time. Okay, so now we're going on to the next portion, which is bad date stories. And I'm sure that you have. I mean, I think most women have at least one. And I don't, it doesn't have to necessarily be like a dating app. I usually find that that's the case. But let's hear it tear bad date story. I don't think I mean, I don't have one where it's just like, Oh, my God, this story. It's just so insane. Yeah, the one date it was a guy I dated shortly before the pandemic happened. I met him on a on a set. And he was really nice. And I knew that he kind of didn't have a very good concept of time. But at the same time, I'm just like, oh, yeah, whatever. People are usually casually like he was an hour late, picking me up for hours. And I mean, to give him credit, he didn't text me was like, Hey, I'm running behind. I'm on my way there. But yeah, I was still just like, oh, my god an hour. And it totally wasn't worth it. Because he was to timing me the entire time that we were in it. So it was like, it wasn't even worth it to wait for that date to get something out of it. So what did you guys end up doing was, uh, we went down to the gateway and they had just opened up a VR place, which was fun. I have never done VR before. So that was good. And then we went to mod, mod or mode however you say, yeah. And then we went to one of the late like, laser show like, yeah, like food and stuff. And he paid for everything which made up for it. But yeah, yeah. It kind of dampers, dampers, the mood when you're waiting around? For I get like, super anxious with like, most social interactions. And so if I'm waiting for an hour for someone my moods gonna be yanks. Yeah, I love Eliza Schlesinger, her and her confirmed kills special talks about how when everyone guys are late for every minute, like that's a minute that a woman has to like, question everything that she's does, even though she can go on you're just like, Is my hair okay, maybe I should change my shirt. Maybe I should do my eyes differently. Yeah, so it's just like, you can't be late because then you go Yeah, I'm gonna try this new. Gonna put the st the eagle streaks in my hair. Well, yeah. Yeah, I had I, the only date that I had where the guy was really late. It was the worst. He was 45 minutes late. And then, like, didn't text me or anything. And I was sitting at ready to go on a to and I was like this. And okay, so the first thing is this guy. His friend begged me to go out with him. He's like, he has such a big crush on you. And I like wasn't super interested. And I was like, okay, but we'll get him to shut up. I'll go out with this guy. 45 minutes later, he shows up and he's like, my, my phone died and I had to go to a gas station or buy a charger. And I like didn't have enough money. So I had to borrow his charger and then I could because I didn't know what how to get here. I was like, okay, and I was like cool. You don't have enough money like what is this gonna pay for dinner? Yeah, so he's like don't worry I got another card or something like he like made up this weird excuse but then ended up his card magical I was like, Oh God, so I had to pay for everything and it was the worst and I I still love radical on out but you know little bit of change in my experience there. Yeah, I got my this is one of the reasons why I don't let people set me up anymore because it's just been too many bad experiences. The last time I was my cousin set me up with one of her than boyfriends friends were like she likes her Helmick looks like you. He's into all of that stuff like you guys will get along. So it's like, okay, so they planned like a big group thing where we all went bowling and everything, which meant a lot to me because it's like data for not just being like, Go meet. And, you know, got there in the conversations fine. And I was a little shy, like I hadn't really come out of my, my shell yet at that point. And he would ask me questions about myself, like, what I like to do, you're into films, and I'd be like, yeah, and I'd give him like a little explanation. And his response to everything would be like, Wow, that's the most boring story I've ever heard. I think, I think he thought that he was being like, funny or something like nagging he was probably, that's, for some reason men think that's what women like. Like, yo, yeah, it was the next day there was like a huge game. And I think I had something else going on, because it was over at my aunt's house of that particular cousins and my mom went, and she asked, my mom asked Shani, when she was just like, he just like, would not let he kept thinking that he was being funny. And he was just straight up and assaulting current. And like, I guess they all talked to him afterwards. And they were all just like, Dude, what the fuck are you thinking? They went to an after party, and I checked out like when we let go, you're gonna come with me? Like, no, I'm going home like this. This evening has gone on, Bart. I don't even know. I might. I feel like I would have put up with that as a younger person. But like in that what happened now? I feel like, dude, no. I'm like, I'm glad as I get older, it's like, I feel like we all learn. We learn to like the politeness. We don't have to do that anymore. PUT UP WITH bullshit anymore. Like it just goes out? Yep, no, yep. Yeah, I had a guy I was once I think it was at watchtower, the coffee shop. And this guy comes up to me and he goes to those shoes come in women's sizes. I was like, what? And it was like that he sat down. And he was like, That was a joke. Because I was like, okay, and he's like, I really just wanted to talk to you. And I was like, No, it was the weirdest interaction I ever had. And I think I gave him my number because I was like, 19. And I was like, Okay, here's my memory. I don't know if I ever responded. I was like, what, who were in your brain like, like, oh, and when you're younger, like, you'll put up with any pickup line, yeah, matter how bad it is. But once you hit like your late 20s, and get into your 30s, it's just like, just come up and say hi, introduce yourself, maybe compliment my shirt or something. Like you don't need to put on a dog and pony show to try to start a conversation with me. But if somebody came up to me and was like, your shoes are cool, like, that's like the nicest like that, that for me. I'm like, Oh, wow, he knows something about my style. Cool. That never happened. So people won't do that message to you just, like be a normal person, by person. And it works. Yeah. My last when I was in my last serious relationship, so about seven years ago, I've dated them but like, that was my last year. Yeah. And I just went out with a bunch of my girlfriends. And we were just sitting at a table at a bar and then the waitress brings over a limit drop and she's like, it's from that guy over there. And I was just like, Oh, that's so sweet that I can't accept it because I'm, I'm in a relationship that I'm very happy and and so like, I took it over there. And I was just like, Hi, I just wanted to come say thank you. And he like held out his hand to shake it and he was just like, I was just wondering if you had a band aid and I was just like, what he's like Yeah, cuz I hurt my knees falling for you. And his friend next to him was just like, Wow, do what was that yeah, that's, I feel like yeah, it made it so much easier to like feel like okay, this I was just like, hey, this rejection is gonna be easier than I thought. It's gonna be after that. I think that you can tell like when a person has literally Googled like, yeah blinds and then you're like you're a real person. Nobody like yeah, like that's not an authentic personality trait is to say dumb shit. No. Okay, so we're gonna go this is a fun segment just to break it up a little bit. These are some ones you rather's that I think tell a lot about a person because They're hard. Well, some of them maybe not as hard. Okay. Oh, this is this a good one. Would you rather party with JLo and Ben or Kim Kardashian? Pete Davidson? Oh, Jay. Yeah, that's gonna go out of fashion really quickly because I don't even know Ken K and Pete Davidson are still thing. Yeah, I know that. I know that Kanye is still like threatening but yeah. Jalen, Ben? Why? Down? Like, no, not even thought. Even if they were both stand if they were all forced standing there, like who do you want to choose? It'd be like JLo. And Ben. Yeah, let's go. Yeah, I felt like that. I don't know. They're both. I would just want to ask JLo like, Excuse me, can that actually she has a skin care? Why now? For her? She's like, 50 looks just gorgeous. Yeah, I'm not like Kim Kardashian, where her entire face looks like she replaced it. Yep. Okay, I agree with that. And I think that that's the good one to choose some of these. I do have opinions on and that one means you're a good person. Cool. Okay. Um, okay, this is an interesting one. Would you be able rather be able to dodge anything, no matter how fast it is? Or ask any three questions, have them answered accurately. I think I'd rather ask three questions and have them answered accurately. Just because I'm such an inquisitive person, that that's just very much a thing. And sometimes, when people can't answer questions, it infuriates me. Probably, no, I was gonna say like, either when, if they can't, or if they just get to the point where they're like, Well, I don't have to answer that. And I'm just like, do you need to give me answers? If I asked you something, you better have the answer. And you I mean, you're probably not dodging things very often. You're not having fast things thrown at you. Not to my recollection. I feel like the only people who really should be saying like dodgy or people who are involved with like, weapons of some kind, because like any could be like, you know? Nobody saw what I just said, but I was doing a dodging bushes. Okay, yeah. We often forget that podcasting is just a medium. Yep. Oh, well, okay. When I got ready this morning, because I like actually did something with my hair. Then when I went to Oregon, like, it's a podcast. Nobody's gonna see you. Matter. I appreciate it. You look great. Thank you for behalf of myself. On Okay, this one. Would you rather pee through your mouth every time? Or have your best friend pee in your mouth one time? Oh, none of neither of those sound of feelings. I think I'd have to go with pee in my mouth one time because then it's just one time and then it's Yeah. And you could ask them to be like extra hydrated. You'd be like, yeah, you have to drink so much water that your pee is basically just waters. Get it over with. Yep. I agree with that. Okay, good, Quincy. Good job, I think. Okay, our next segment, we're gonna talk about red flags that you see red and green flags that you see on profiles. So let's start with red flags. Is there anything that's like immediate swipe left? Like there's no way? Yeah to here, dude. Let me see. I don't know if, man, I don't know that I pay attention to the red flags a lot. I think sometimes like, I mean, like in the couple of profiles that I sent you when it's people feel like yes, some guys are going to take you out for just like tacos, but I'm going to take you out to the five star restaurant and I'm just like, this is a guy who will definitely try to control every aspect of your relationship with him. He will decide what clothes you wear, how you do your hair. If you can color it or not like what you eat, how often you can work out whether or not you can see your family like that. They're the people that are on there that you can just tell like you're gonna be the type I have a person who eventually down the line keeps me away from my entire family. And basically, I feel like it's like I like these high maintenance guys is what I would call them like the guys who have like, high paying job, which they think gives them a personality. Yeah. They think I feel like it's like the guys who really focus on like, what everything looks like, because they're gonna focus on what you look like. Yeah, they're gonna be obsessed with it. They're like the Alpha guys, the guys who went to the alpha con nightmares. And you can kind of tell right away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, I mean, I know this is kind of shallow, but I do sometimes, sometimes take it as a red flag. Like if a guy either doesn't have a job, or occupation listed or like his occupation is like, self employed and just like, Okay, well, what do you do that self employed? Like? Are you actually self employed? Or do you run like, Do you Do you sell Herbalife out of your basement? Or something like that? Yeah, I think I think that's shallow to watch somebody who like kind of has their life together. Because I think that's like, a normal thing to expect from a partner, because you don't want to have to, like, take care of them. Yeah, like, I definitely don't want to be in a relationship where only one person is the breadwinner. Like, that's because I was always raised, you know, from my mom's experience with men and even my grandmother's, like, they both told me at different points, like, never depend on a man. So I was raised to take care of myself know that it's okay to have a man in your life, but that you need to know how to take care of yourself. And you need to have that independence. So that when, if that relationship ever dies, like you're not screwed, and just at square one clear down, yeah, anymore. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's a good way to make sure that you have an equal. I feel like that's like an equal partnership. I mean, that's like, millennials are like, that's what we want. Most of us millennials. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and the guys that like, will have a picture on their profile, or even from their Instagram with just like a bunch of other girls. And it's like, Who are all these women? Like, I'm not saying that you can't hang out with other women. But I need to know the context of these relationships. I'm going to date you. I think that okay, so whenever I see those people, it's always like, I feel like a subtle brag. Like, these are the women that I'm around and I'm surrounded with. So this is like, your competition. Like, obviously, there's some pictures where you're like, Oh, they're just like, that's their sister or whatever. But they're at least certain profiles that it's like them at a club with these like hot women. And you're like, come on. I see what you're doing, sir. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Lions competition. Yeah. Okay, what's going on green flags. Do you have anything that you're like, automatically? You just start attracted to like, media. Yeah. Yeah, definitely a sense of humor. Like if I can read that through profile, I'm definitely interested. And, you know, I, I like witty banter, everything. Yeah, just guys who will? Who aren't afraid to like show their nerdy side in the photos, and just not take themselves so seriously. Because what it really comes down to it. Dating should not be taken as seriously as a lot of Yeah, take it like it's not a life or death. Death thing. Like if you if this doesn't work out. You're gonna be fine. Yeah. Find your person eventually. Like don't. Don't stress about it so much. Yeah, I feel like, if you're not funny, right off the bat, that's just like, hard like, imagining a life where you're not having fun. And it's just like, serious and you're not laughing like that seems like my worst nightmare. So yeah, I 100 If you can kill the Voice Memo prompt, like that would that was like Okay, I gotta have this person on my podcast because they made me laugh. Yeah, yeah, I feel like yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, I do think other green flags. And this is strictly related to like the profiles, but when they lost their religious views, political views and whether or not they want children, even if it's not sure, like, that means a lot to me, because it's like, I know, I can read off that like okay, this might not be someone that this will last very long with, because if they're super religious, I'm not. And they might have a problem with the fact that I drink and I go out to bars. And, you know, I'm not against, like Republicans or anything like that. That's fine. Like, I don't judge people off that, but we might butt heads a lot. Yeah, that's definitely something to take into consideration. And if the guy knows for sure that he wants kids, I'm very much on the fence. And so for me, it's like, I don't think it would be fair to go out with you. Yeah, maybe start a relationship when you know, for sure you want this? And I don't, because that could potentially hold you back from the things that you really want out of it. Yeah. And I think also, if they had that listed, I feel like they are actually interested in like starting something. And like if the people who just like have like one thing about them don't have any prompts, which I don't think hinge lets you but Oh, you haven't? Oh, okay. Yeah, if you have nothing, it's like, what was the point of view? I'm sure it's some people are fine with that. But that's just annoying to me. You're not even trying? Yeah, I get really annoyed by the profiles where it's like, they hardly have any information like in regards to like, job or like, age and stuff like that. They don't have any prompts. Or they have good prompts, but they don't have any good pictures of them. Like, I'm sorry, but the ones where it's like, all their pictures are from a distance. I'm just like, you're not building yourself up here very well. And that's hard, because people want to know what you look like before they go on a date with you. Yeah, unfortunately, that's just part of dating. Yeah. Show me what you're, especially if you're not, if you're my worst nightmare, I overthink things. But if I go and I'm meeting someone, I always have to be early because I don't want to be the one finding them. I am like, really bad. Like, if I know someone for a long time, like, not even that long. If I need you to have a conversation with you. I'm really good at like knowing your face. But from pictures. I'm terrible at finding people like recognizing people. And my worst nightmare is like going up to someone and having it not be bam. And I'm like, okay, so anytime like I've met somebody, I'm like, Okay, I gotta be 10 minutes early. So they have to find me. And I feel like, I don't know my glasses, kind of, I don't know. Throw people with me. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, so that's yeah, to have a picture where I kind of know what you look like, or like old picture, like, you gotta have an accurate photo. Yeah. I've never run across that. But that does happen. So it's, like, have updated pictures. Because if that's another that's another huge red flag, like if Yeah, show up looking completely different from that like that. I that's just not a good look. Because that's not really you being honest about if you can't even be honest about how you look, what are you gonna lie about? Yeah, yeah. All right. Any other green flags that you can pay? Not that I can think of off? I mean, honestly, like, and obviously, I don't expect people to be like, This is my five year plan. And this but like, if people can be like, just telling me a little bit about themselves. And times, even if they mentioned, like, I'm looking for something more serious. I'm kind of dating around. I respect a lot the profiles that I've come across where the guys are like, I'm in an open relationship. So I'm good. No questions. I know exactly what I would be getting into. Yeah, if I were to go on a date with you. So transparency is a bigger Yes. Yeah, I feel like this is yeah, I feel like, it's so easy to be a normal person on the apps and yet, somehow, men don't know how to do it. I'm like, yeah, it's wild, then. I don't get the men that will put and I've been seeing this a lot lately. The guys who will post a picture of them, like, from behind just completely naked. I'm just like, wide. I mean, I'm sure it's just them being funny, but for me, I'm just like, that's I don't want to see your ass yet. Like, we're not to that level. You're not lying me to first Yeah, letting me choose to see it. I have to see it. Not for that, sir. It's like keep a little mystery. Yeah, but until we get to that point. Yeah, I gotta. I gotta sneak cuz my way back on because I love looking at profiles and laughing at them. It's like a good pass. I think I'm gonna make my sister do and just use my picture. We'll see they might catch up. I might. Yeah, she wouldn't care. Okay, your number one dream man. Let's hear it. Who is a is a famous person I assume, man. I mean if I could choose a famous person I would choose Chris Evans. Like cuz he's he's just he's such a good guy he's so cute and I never thought I would be attracted to a guy that wears sweaters as often as he does but he looks so good at it at that sweater in the knives out Yeah, I don't want to spoil it but he is tricky and movie and I get distracted because he looks so nice and he didn't Jenny Slate and I was I was I loved that couple and it's fine that they broke up because you know, but I just loved that. I'm like okay, I like you more because I love Jenny Slate. Okay, this is a good choice. All right, thank you for being on the podcast if you want to support me if you feel different specifications