We talk to my good friend Chaz (we're talking at least 8 years of friendship, here). We talk about all the unhinged women that are attracted to my good friend and also reptiles. Join us for the wild ride!
Sound supervising, mixing, and editing by B.T. Measles.
We talk to my good friend Chaz (we're talking at least 8 years of friendship, here). We talk about all the unhinged women that are attracted to my good friend and also reptiles. Join us for the wild ride!
Sound supervising, mixing, and editing by B.T. Measles.
Hello, and welcome to the podcast, pursuit of appiness. I'm your host, Marta. And we talk to my friend Chaz On this episode, where we discuss breaking toilets. And my ex boyfriend who would only eat oatmeal. So stay tuned okay, Chaz, we're gonna jump right in. We're gonna do an icebreaker first. Here is your icebreaker. Have you ever sent a dick pic? Be honest with me. I feel like Yes. What did somebody ask for it? Or? Yes, like I've never done a unsolicited it's always mutual. I was gonna say it soon. For some reason. Like, I feel like the women you date would love it. I don't know why I just think that they would they'd be the type of women that what that? Did you put your face in it? Because that seems dangerous. No, that's weird. Yeah, to put your face in a to like, the angle wouldn't look right. You know, like, you have to like any angle the camera. And if you angle it a certain way, then that doesn't do that part justice. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I mean, I'm not. I'm not totally like, in depth in the world of dick pics, because I am not a person who would ever ask for that. That's not my style. Oh, no, that was me back back years ago, for sure. I haven't done that in a year. So. Yeah, don't I've just I would say to everyone don't put your face in it because it can be used against you. Nobody's gonna be like that is that person's dick. Like without your face, right? Yeah. And I also don't get like, I know some people will use like Facebook Messenger for all that stuff. And I'm like, That means facebook. Your your stuff? Like that's weird. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, that's one person has tried to send me an unsolicited dick pic. But it was a video. And he was wearing. He was wearing a towel. And I was like, I message him. And I was like, There's no fucking way. I'm clicking on that. Very obvious. You're gonna try to show me your penis. And I blocked him. And he would just like, he would like always message me and you'd be like, sorry, I'm drunk. Like, it'd be like two the afternoon. I'm like, dude, you have a problem? Yeah, it's weird. I don't he I blocked him. So no more threatening. When When was the last time you received a dick pic? Ah, that was probably I think it was before COVID was when he's the only person that has ever tried to send me anything. I think I give off the air. If you sent me a dick pic. I will demolish you. So that's good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad I give that off. Because I will. Yeah, I would not like that. Okay, so I know you pretty well. But I'm guessing that people who are listening to this do not so I'm going to ask you some questions so the audience can get to know you. Okay, first question. What is your favorite movie? Arrival? Danny Villeneuve's Arrival 2016. I even have a tattoo of it saying no, you do. I actually really love that movie too. And I think that's a really good tattoo movie. I mean, tattoo idea, but I won't steal it from you. Okay, what's your favorite music? Like what's your favorite band? Favorite band? Okay. Well, for who was your top Spotify artists this year? If you looked at it, or if you have Spotify? I did know. I think it was. It might have been architects, which is like a metal core band. But Metallica has been my Spotify list too. Yeah, forever. So yeah. So I guess metal music I guess is architects a British band. They are British band because they're on the lead singer is on this podcast called off menu. And what? I'll send it to you. Yeah, you cannot he talks about because they got one of the hosts is a metal dude. So I'll send it to you. I wasn't that. I mean, it's entertaining, but I don't know that guy. Well, the thing too, like what's cool is like his vocal technique. I mean, it's screaming but like the way he does it really like Oh, how? Like it's not harsh. It's like melodic to it's weird. It's cool. It's it's a very distinctive sound British. No, actually no. Lyrics like your latest album. Like the last year. It's like really depressing. And sense of like, you know, the end of the world is here. Yeah. Global warming. Yep. All that stuff. So cool. Well, I'll send that to you. I'll have to look up his name, but I know that. Yeah, cool. What is your job? Okay, but day job or like passionate job? Oh, let's you can choose which one to talk. I assume that your passion job is the one you'd rather talk about. So talk about that one. Yeah, I mean, you know, like writing, filming photography, more of the artsy stuff for sure. But you have to have a day job to pay bills. I guess, at this at this point of your creative career. You need a day job. That's what you're saying? Yeah. My day job is litigation, I guess. What else? So sounds fancy. Yeah. Working with attorneys. It's so fun. Yeah. Okay, it's all I will say. Yeah. Yeah, you tell me some interesting stories about some of your co workers, but we won't open that can of worms. Okay, last question to get to know you is, what's wrong with you, Chazz? So much? I don't know, I don't know where to begin. So you can you can interpret this in any way you want. Like you can. You can tell us what's wrong with you in this sense of dating, because that's kind of what this is about. Or just like in general. What's wrong with me is like often fear can be serious commitment. Why do you why? Just, I have no idea. A lot of it is a lot of a lot of it might be just, you know, past stuff that's happened and walls go up or whatever. Yeah. So that's been I'm self aware of that. Yeah. So it's been working on that for the past couple years, to say the least. Well, at least. I guess if you most of the people who know what's wrong with them. I mean, you're working on it. So that's good. Lots of people don't care to do that. What's wrong with you? I've been trying to ask you questions. Yes, yes. Yes. I actually have told I have to think of new interesting ones, because people are gonna get bored of hearing my like, like Martin Martin, what's wrong with you today? Um, well, what's wrong with me physically, is that I have scoliosis and doing repetitive movements like painting, which would I was painting the other side of my duplex so I'm like aged like an old lady. And I'm only 31 So that's not cool. Have you tried to like get the paint brush roller thing and like just roll it on your back to like, I couldn't have been I do that I've been painting wall make make your sisters do it or something. My sisters were doing it. We were all working together as a clan of sisters painting this side of sisterhood, sisterhood painting houses together. That's what it's all about. Yep. Dating wise, is that I have a really hard time. Like opening up to people because and then like, it's annoying when you do and then they dump you and then you're like, Well, fuck, that took a lot of effort on my part. And then I'm expected to do this again. And then I Yeah, so it's like, telling people like, you know, what's going on with me emotionally or whatever. During the dating process. It's like, easier to like, just be funny and not be serious. But then it's like, if you want a real relationship, you gotta like get deep with people and that's very difficult for me. Because I have done it and then people back in dump me. So when you when you open up, do they try to relate to you or do they just say like, Oh, that sucks. Um, well, last time it so basically me and my ex boyfriend, I was really wanting to try to like, open up so there's this thing that's called the 36 questions that's supposed to help you connect with people it's on it's there was a whole article there was a psychologist who basically did In the experiment where these couples, strangers would ask each other these questions, and then it was supposed to make them fall in love. And like, I think it was like, four out of six couples got married. I don't know what happened to their marriage. But basically, it's not like I was trying to, like, force this person to be in love with me. I just like, wanted a reason to like, open up. And it was like, if we're both talking about serious things, then we'll open up to each other. And that's what we did. So it was like we both we both had to share like something deep with each other. So it wasn't like a related. Well, it was like relating to each other. It was like, what was your hardest day? And then we would both share what our hardest day was. So if you have troubles, I do actually highly recommend it. It's just annoying, but it was all for nothing. That's stupid. For nothing. I mean, didn't teach you to like open up in a way though. I mean, it showed me that I can. Eventually so that's, I guess that's good. I feel like yeah, I felt like every relationship that doesn't work out as much as they suck. There's always that one like, well, what can I take away from it? You know what I mean? Yeah, I can take away the I need somebody who eats more than oatmeal for every meal. He was not a very, that was all. You know who I'm talking about? I'm not gonna say. But he only ate oatmeal, though. He seriously would eat oatmeal for every meal. And I was like, I need to feed you like it was weird. Like, I felt like I was taking care of him because like, you can't just eat oatmeal. That is not you need vegetables and you need like protein. You can't eat oatmeal for every meal. So I was like cooking for him a lot because he just wouldn't do it for himself. That's surprising because like he looks like a guy who has a lot of greens. Yeah. Would be classy eating. i He was very surprising how like, in shape he was for somebody who will all be a oatmeal. Yep. He also had, he also had a decoration that he kept up all your log and it was a Grinch. And oh god, yeah, that was weird. Anyways, who keeps a painting of the Grinch? All your log should have known. Okay, we're gonna move on. So our next segment is called overgeneralize. Questions about men. So when you are answering these, you're answering on behalf of however many billions of men there are on the planet. So beware. Oh, god. Okay, sure. My fellow dudes, I'm sorry, if I fail you. Here's what I have a stack of questions, and I'm just pulling randomly. Here's the first question. Why do men dump women it should be asked. Can you explain? Explain this to us? The city go. I know what my sir. Okay, okay. Possibly, it's because men are afraid to get hurt first. So if they do, they're hurting. They just put the walls up and be like, tough luck, Buttercup. Okay, that's, you know what? I'm impressed with your answer. It's a good one. Are you really? I mean, that's, I mean, that makes sense to me. Have you done that? Oh, yeah. That's part of my whole commitment thing where I was like, like, if things seem too good to be true. I'll be like, Why Don't overanalyze it? Yeah. And then I'll just shut them off completely. Yeah, I get that. I understand that. Okay. Good. That was a good that's a good theory. What does I'm not looking for anything serious really mean? And doesn't mean they can tell that a person's not gonna hook up with them. Like they're not just the Does that make sense? Are you reread it one more time? What does I'm not looking for anything serious really mean? And doesn't mean they can tell that the person is not going to hook up with them right away? Yeah, I mean. I mean, here's the thing, right? We've like the emotional aspect, right? Like the having somebody's shoulder to like rely on whatever Yeah, right. But the second that satisfied in whatever capacity right, then that's when we're like, but I really You want to take this serious or no? And that's, it's shady. I personally have done that. But like I try not to. I just okay. Here's the weird thing is that it always happens to me. That was a personal question for us. Because I'll go on like two dates with someone, and then that's what they tell me. And I'm like, we went on two dates what what was serious about two dates? Like it was very, it's very weird that they say that to me. And it's like, oh, it's probably because they just wanted to hook up and I am like, no, it's probably hookup I mean, also the Utah culture, right? With dates, they expect to be on one knee proposing, right? But it's not like I'm dating Mormons. So why do they like assume? Do they assume that I think that they are my boyfriend after two days? Well, maybe. I mean, it's the culture down. That's a question. Do you have that talk? No. You don't have like, are we a couple officially? Dates? Hell, no. I'm not. If you were like the guy though. Like, what have you really liked? And you like, click, you know, I still after two dates, I don't expect them to be my boyfriend. I'm asking you. I have never been on like a real date date. Right. That's why I'm asking. is good for me to know, too. I feel like, I feel like it depends. I don't think that I would know after two dates, if I want them to be my boyfriend, if I've known them for like a long time. And it's like, oh, we're going on dates now. And I want to be a girl that's different, which I felt like trying to happen with me and my ex we were we like knew each other. And but we kind of went on a one day. And it was weird. And then we like started hanging out. And then yeah, we were like, I think it was like three dates. And then we were like, what's up boyfriend? So three days is your ultimate? No, but I knew him. And I like talk to him. Like for a long time before that. But if I don't really know a person, and I go on to dates, I'm not gonna know if I, if I want them to be my boys. That's me. Personally, I think it's wild that people think that they already know that. Yeah, no, it's wild. I think the overall. I don't know. I don't know where he's going with that. Yeah. I had a train of thought and I lost it. I just think I think when people say that to me, I'm like, Oh, they just wanted to like fuck, and I'm like, not that type of person. So yeah, I don't I don't get the point of going on a date. If you're not really looking for anything. Pretty court. Dates are a little bit more serious. Yeah. Like, you're looking at potential. Yeah, right. Why don't just and also a person that said this to me, called me on the like, call straight up called me. And we're like, talk to me. And he's had the audacity to say that I was the serious what you're calling me now the telephone year The series was not me, sir. Anyways, that was an interesting experience. Yeah. And he was like, 30, I was like, 24 at the time, and I was like, you should be looking for something serious. What just mean? Because I'm now 31. Okay, let's move on to the next question. What is it about John Wick that gets men so riled up? counterclaim question. Have you even seen it? No. But I have been berated on the internet for like making a joke about it. So I want to know, what is it about that movie that makes men be like, this is the best deal on the planet Earth and I will die for this movie. And this movie is the best thing that's ever happened on planet Earth. So explain it to me. I'm asked Well, okay, I'll give you some reasons. Number one, it has Keanu Reeves. Okay. Who's an actor? Who is probably in the same ballpark is in that cage? Like yeah, great actor, but they have also had been in Well, bad movies. Yeah, I mean, yeah. So John Wick, though. It gets you at the emotional tension, because it's about this guy who's dealing with the loss of his wife, who leaves behind this puppy. Morning with this dog opening up. And then these assholes kill the dog while they try to steal his car. And then that's when it's revealed. Oh, he actually has a past and that is see You currently underground? Like underground past, right? Yeah. And then when people find out that he's back out of retirement, essentially. They're like, what? And it's like building a myth around this guy that we knew nothing about. And it's so ridiculously great for the stump work. And the actions in photography. Like, it's just top notch. Like, but I feel like there's so many movies that are just as action heavy. So why is this particular movie different? It's kind of like it's a it's a fight style. It's before I could probably just call it a gun Fu. Right? I've got lots of guns and lots of karate movements and what you wait, it's just heavy into that. But the cool thing with it is chats to whiskey. Who directed it was the stunt coordinator for the Matrix films? So there's a lot of cool action sequences from like, our matrix matrix. So I guess in that sense, can can resist doing all this don't work? Okay, I kind of dug him out of me. But I feel like The Matrix don't work is really cheesy and I don't really like It's like cheesy. Cheesy, I mean, it's, it is what it is, you know, but I just here's the thing, the hand is what what it really is, though, I just think like, like, you know, being you when saw Nicolas Cage's mandate, and I would understand why people like that, because it's like, the most insane thing I've ever seen. But I just don't it I just feel like John Wick sounds like so many other action movies that I don't get like, like, I've never heard anyone talk like that about any other action movie. Well, I mean, the action the first movie is probably just like, it's pretty intense, where you're like, dude, and you want him to kick ass like you want to kick ass and those bad as way possible, right? And it's the way he kills versus like, super badass. And like, there's a story where he did something with a pencil, right? You don't know what he did with the pencil, but you just hear the story that he doesn't have the pencil and this guy's like, we gotta get him this dog back. Or we like like, you're fucked. Like, there's no escaping John Wick. Right? The boogey man Baba Yaga is what they call him, okay. But then each movie tries to top itself in terms of action where the stonework just gets more absurd and ridiculous. Okay, but just epic. Like it's like, like, in the first or in the first movie. You know, it's pretty intense. In the second movie, he's swinging his car around and hitting people with the car in a parking garage. Like it's just, I don't know. And then the third movie like he's on a horse, firing guns I like it's in the middle of New York City. And with the motorcycle like it's, and he kills somebody the library book. Hey, that happened in born. So that sounds impressive. No, no, no, but not in the sense of John Wick. But when you see when you see him kills personal library books, you'd be like, what? Okay, well, I forget it, but maybe I'll watch it. But it's just sounds so boring. I don't want to watch people fight for two hours. Like, does anybody does anybody kiss that movie bell that get it out of my eyes? No, but it's, it's him avenging his wife's gift of a dead dog. You know? The last thing that his wife left him and yeah, but do you want to know how many movies are somebody avenging their wife like every action movie? So? Are they avenging his wife? Are they avenged in the dog? He's alleging the dog. But really he's avenging his wife. In hindsight, yeah. But like when when they when the when the when the guy finds out that so and so killed his dog. He's like, you kill this dog. And that's when like this whole myth, this world building starts going on, right? It's all through people's reactions, which is really interesting. So wait, did his wife die naturally? Cancer, I think okay, well, I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever understand it has. It just has nice. It has a nice car and I'll give you my voodoo link like my voodoo login information and you can watch them through that you want. Maybe I'm I just feel like it seems so boring to me. But no, but I'll try it. Maybe I'll love it because I look at it for Mandy is like, the most insane things ever. And it's hilarious. So I don't know. Okay, remember how tense that theater was? Remember? We were the only people laughing like what? Oh, so good. Yeah, that was a good experience because it was just me You and dad laughing and everybody else was like total silence. It's like there's yeah, there's a scene where it's really trippy. And I had to look at you guys to make sure like you were saying that to me like, That scene is really trippy. Okay, we're gonna move on to the next segment, which is your, this is we're gonna look at your profile. And basically, I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask you questions about your profile. And it's a little bit like, I'm going to tell you why I think you chose what you chose. And you're going to tell me why you really chose the photo prompt. Okay, so. So your first picture, you're in a movie theater, so you want women to know that you like movies? It's very obvious, but you also look annoyed. So is this telling you women that they are not talk during the movie? He'll be really fucking mad. That's a good reason. But no, that was actually before the screening of my short at a festival where, you know, I was just nervous. I was nervous. Okay, as nervous as I was sitting by my dad in that photo, actually, he's dropped out. And we were just waiting for stuff when I was just like, really anxious. So that's me in a movie theater, which looks really cool. The lighting is really cool. Yeah, that's a good it's a good photo. I just think it's funny because you just like kind of look like annoyed. Like, what is he telling us? I hate it when people talk to movies or eat loud food. Sometimes theater experiments. Experiences are just like the worst thing in the world for me, especially in cold Well, actually, I went to the Broadway and there was like barely buddy anybody in it and it was mask requirement and vaccination card. So it was a good experience actually. Okay, so your overshare which is that you are reading something about dune and your legs fell asleep and you broke your toilet? Is that what happened? So I remember this habit because you like immediately texted me and I just want to know is this you telling women that you shit like a man? Explain what you mean ship like a man forever, forever in the bathroom, and you're doing serious thinking I start where you get your best ideas on the shitter I actually get my best ideas in the shower, but the shitters just scroll through Twitter and tick tock and I just get lost in the Twitterverse Yeah. So that's like two minutes or whatever. You know, I'm sitting there for like, 30 minutes just bawling, scrolling. And I'm like, Oh, I guess my wife now. Crow's you are sitting with you. I hope you flush and we are just sitting on the toilet. So why did you decide to share that? Like happened but I broke my neck. Okay, it's an absurd story. But I do leg. I'm saying like, like, I know that you don't really use the app. But if you were gonna use the app, would you actually post that? I know. Do you think it's just so somebody can like ask you the story? Like what what was your plan there? I mean, the story but it's also like a sense of humor being like, oh, what's an overshare? It's like a shooting story right? Even though it's like an end result of me falling in the bathtub and breaking my toilet at 11 o'clock pm when my neighbor Do you like nobody checked on me? Like I mean, I'm like 250 pound dude, like, bawling in the bathtub. Yeah, and had to recreate it for a created a video of it. For a gaggle of geeks podcast, yeah, Patreon video. Yeah. And I actually broke once well, even more in that video. I gotta fix I fixed toilet myself. By the way. I didn't even tell me what was broken on it. It was just one of the seat nuts. Oh, okay. I was imagining like a broken half or so. Well, no, but I mean, I think they actually loosened it and like it actually started leaking like a month later. So I had a call management like yeah, the toilets leaking. I have no idea what happened and the guy came in to fix it. And put Why are you new wax ring on it because I was actually old wax ring anyway, but he didn't use gloves at all. Taking the whole idea. I was like, yeah, when he left I like wipe down everything is sprayed Lysol. I was like, Yeah, that's fine. That's my overshare being a dead leg. While shitting Oh, Okay, so let's talk about the Toaster Strudel rant. So you want to tell women you're passionate about baked goods maybe or that you're environmentally conscious, and think that they should make more per packaging for the sake of the world. And you're telling me I just like Toaster Strudels and food. Okay, but I get passionate about it. Yes, but you can buy more than one packet when? Well, yeah, but you know how expensive they are? No, I don't buy them. Oh, they're expensive. And they're gone within a week. Well, yeah, it's a waste of money. Okay, but like I had for him like when sitting by my mind yeah, good. It's now five Well, yeah, breakfast snack, lunch, dinner. That is not a good breakfast is like I'm pretty much a bachelor in my apartment. I eat cereal most of the time, or toast or oatmeal. Like a certain somebody but like, oh know, usually it's just like, if I'm just going hungry. I'll just grab a quick snack or on the go. If I have to go in the office, you know, like, yeah, to get on the ghost train snack. Unless you get the cream cheese because like the cream cheese melts off the edges, you know? time it's a messy time. And sometimes they will get on your car seat and look like something that's yeah, that's got to be a sometimes a hard life or man. There's a lot of things that can look like that. Deodorant stains. Yep. Yeah. Don't know if I've ever seen somebody's pits been like, what have you been doing with your shirt? I have like, I've white stains on there. But yeah, but I guess. But also, nobody's gonna be everyone. I would think that people will be smart enough to be like, That's a deodorant stain. But there are we also live in an interesting time. So. Okay. Okay, so here's the last question. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what do you think of the lighting in that video? It was really just a show of my production skills. I mean, it looks good. And you cut it in an interesting, like, click Beatty way. So good job. So once you actually share that if you're doing a dating app. Yeah. Okay. I hear I actually, a year ago, I use the dating app and I actually promoted promoted the podcast. People hate that. That is what I'm learning people. hate that. I've gotten dating sites. So many people have gotten mad at me for using it for podcast reasons. So really? Yeah. Well, okay, not that many. Just this one guy really? was like, what you took the time to write me a message about how the he was like, there's so many weird girls on here. You're not alone. And this is where you should be dating people and meeting people in real life. And he was not a catch. He was disgusting. I was like, Yeah, buddy, I can tell why your betters are ill. But yeah, I should have like messaged him back but I just has too much energy. I'm looking for guests. I'm not looking for fights. Okay, last question. You have some very artistic photos like black and white and like interesting lighting, but then you also throw in a mirror selfie. And is that to prove that sometimes you are just a typical did Sure yeah. Why did what's also showing my plan and it's showing like heights and whatever, you know, my question is, is it because that you feel too feminine using a self timer? Because most phones self timer to just not even realize you have that. So use a self timer for a selfie though. So Kay, so the whole point is that you're trying to show your entire shirt. So it can save having your phone and your dirty mirror. You could put it into a dirty Okay, yours wasn't for many I cleaned it before. See that's so much more effort than just taking your phone. I'm putting a timer on it and I would take a selfie. Well, the real question you should be asking is did I take that photo for the app or was it already on my phone? So it was already but why was it on your phone? Because I got my haircut that day and my mom came but you can i You also have you have a way to take a picture of your chest your head, don't you? I know you don't have an iPhone but you have front facing camera, don't you? Yeah, but like my around all I just, I just like just a masculine thing. Like, I feel like it's weird, like men feel weird about using the front facing camera, or using a timer. I just can't get the right angle. Honestly, I always every time I look, I'm like double chin or I'm like, you know, and I'm like, No, and I will go. And I'm like scrolling right on girls. And I'm like, you took that selfie mode. And yet you look flawless. Why? Why am I having this issue? I think girls just were really we know how to look, you were very practice. We're very practice. And now our angles, man. I guess don't let me ask you a question then. If a guy has his Instagram and Snapchat info and his bio, what does it say about him? But I don't want to date him. So why do girls do that too? Well, they so for girls, it's 100% they just want followers and men will do it. And so why not? If you are a girl, and you're you're trying to be like an Instagram girl, then hell yeah, because boys are gross. And we'll just go and follow you. And you don't even have to go on a date with them. So yeah, hell yeah. To girls. But that's like me promoting my own stuff. It is people getting mad. Yeah, I think that I there is a double standard. But this difference between girls and guys is that guys will go and follow this girl on her Instagram. Women don't give a shit most of the time. They're not gonna follow you on your Instagram. They're not gonna go find you on Instagram. If you put it in your dating app, they're not gonna fall do your Snapchat. So it's like, pointless for men to do it. Women? What? 100% guys are gonna go follow her and try to slip into DMS. She's gonna ignore him. And I say all power to them. Oh, yeah. And like 10 times out of 10 Throw away out of the dude. Yeah. 100% gives them a false hope. She will be with me. That's where I'm like now. There's no answers. I don't know why. Men are stupid. And it's their own fault. So. So they deserve it. That's good. Moral of the story. Women are smarter than men and women aren't gonna go. I mean, I'm sure there are some women who go and follow these guys. There's like a, but just not as many. Okay, we're gonna move on to do you have any bad date stories that? I mean? It doesn't have to be an app date story, but preferably if you have on. Yeah, so who? Oh, oh, yeah, I feel like okay, if anyone's gonna have a bad date story, it's you because I don't know what it is about the women who? Like you, like some? I mean, when I don't know what it is about the women that are in your life that they seem wild? Yeah, well, so there's one girl who we've been, I don't know, off and on interested in each other for like, a couple few years, whatever. Yeah, but the first time we hung out, we went go see a movie. And she's like, this isn't a date. And I'm like, and she told me this halfway through and I'm like, I want to find it was like, we're so that goes back to the whole trust issues. Right. Like, yeah, walls going up and stuff. Yep. And then, like few years or a couple years later, whatever we're like, trying stuff out or whatever. She's like, Oh, yeah, that was a fun date. And I'm like, What? What? So it's like mental mind games. Yeah. Fuck that. That was your date story. That's one I don't know why. I don't know. I don't go on dates. Often. That's one thing like I don't Okay, so basically the woman you hang out with don't want to make dates is the problem. Yeah, but then they fall for me but then like these keep me like on a fishing line, right? Yeah. Oh, we should keep rolling it in back burner boy. Yeah, and it's bullshit and they get mad at me when I call them out on their like it and then like, on the answer, okay. Which I'm probably I'm like, I'm I say shit, but that's for sure. And like the last person who I thought was a date, she turns out it was not a day even though she asked me out. Like she exclusively said, Do you want to go out with me sometime? I'm like, yeah, totally. And then why are they later she's like, do want Go out with me. Like, this might be weird. Like, what's the why is that? What were what were we doing before? Like, what's the? Why are they? Why are they afraid of making a date? Is it because they're I feel like the women that you date always are actually in a relationship. That's what it feels like. Because like every time we stop talking guests who is in a relationship with me, like, I'm guessing that's what's happened. Yeah, but it doesn't sound like you have any like crazy dates. Now, I've heard horror stories, right? I'm sure there's plenty of horror stories. And so what can you as a woman than Marta? Wade, what makes the date weird for you? Like, what's, what's a big no, no on a date? First of all, I'll tell you this story. I really didn't feel like going on a date with this person. But I was being pressured by his roommate who was my friend, and he's like, he's such a crush on you. And I know, he seems a little nerdy but like, Just give him a chance. And I was like, okay, so I was like, Okay, well go to writing one. Cuz really, I don't go on dinner dates very often. I don't know what it is about me. But men don't usually ask me to dinner dates. And so I was like, Cool. I want to have, I want to have a dinner day. And I want someone to vibe. So first of all, I was waiting for 45 minutes for this person who's 45 minutes late, and I was texting him. And I was like, I'm just gonna get somebody to go like, I like what is happening. He didn't text me. I have no idea why I waited that long. I think I was I was young. And I was like, trying to be nice, because as women we're kind of trained to like be nice to men, even though we don't need to, there's no reason for it. And so I waited for him. And then he like, shows up. And he's like, sorry, I like, didn't know where this was. And then my phone died. And then I had to go to a gas station and buy a phone charger. And I charged my phone to find the directions. The phone is like, okay, so I was already like, pissed off. So we sat at the bar, we ordered our food, it was just like, awkward. And like you, I felt like he was like afraid of me, which I probably was not giving off friendly vibes. But then times for the check. And he tries if it was, and his card got declined. He's like, no, no, no, that's, that's not what that's crazy. And then he tries like two different cards, which I feel bad for him that his card got declined, but I'm like, you fucking we're 45 minutes late. So I ended up paying for everything. And I was like, pissed off. I was like, the one time I was gonna get free food. And then I had to pay for his food, my food. Order bears because I was like, Cool. I'm gonna have dinner paid for. And yeah, it did not go well. That one's not even a bad story. Compared to lots of the stories I have. I was just like, not into it. And then I ended up paying for it, which I actually pay for dates all the time. But it's when, yeah, don't just I don't know, I feel like for me, I'm afraid that there's like an imbalance. And if they pay for it, then they're like, expecting me to like, hook up with them. Now, I get that, but no, I it's just like when I don't know somebody, I expect that that's what they're expecting. And so lots of times, I will be like, Oh, I can pay for it. Because probably not now I'm a lot poorer than I used to be. And I don't know, I kind of I would do that every once in a while. But when somebody asks me out, and it's like their idea, then yeah, I expect them to pay for it. And I was already annoyed that he was 45 minutes late. And I was already annoyed because his friend begged me to go out with him. And then it was afterward. I think we probably did big just because we knew the same person. And we probably like interacted but I was like, I don't want to go out with you again. Because I didn't watch it in the first place. What do you look forward to dudes profile then on these dating sites? Well get to that in a little while get to that. Yeah, you can ask for you when we get to that point that segment. But so I would say usually it's the guy's fault. That's basically what I'm learning is that even when men have a bad day, it's their fault. I don't I don't know. I want I want to disagree just because of my stuff like that one. Where, you know, she asked me out and I was like, oh, yeah, totally. I didn't hear for her for the rest of the day. I even sent her a text in the morning. Yeah. Like so like, he's the I don't want to be too baller, so I'm just like, they might be busy during they would like, say, yeah, yeah. And then so I actually tried to Bell. Yeah, she called me she's like, why are you trying to Bell? I'm like, do this like eight o'clock at night? I thought it's gonna be like at six o'clock at night. You know, like, I want to have a I texted you that night too. So has this ever happened? But anyway? I don't know. I guess a lot. I guess the issue too is like me not dating often. I always hang out with woman. But turns out I think that's a weird thing. I think that you just got to ask them to dinner. And so they know it's a date. And if they try to get out of it, then you're like, No, I want. I very obviously wanted to go on a date. Because I think they want to go on a date. They're just weird. I don't know what's up with the women that you go out. There weird. I don't know, either. I don't I haven't said I'm like, I'm done doing crazy people or having a thing with crazy people. And then next thing you know. Yeah, like, what's up mother? fucka? Yeah, they're just Yeah, I don't, I don't usually like calling people crazy. But they seem a little imbalanced. And well, there's red flags. And guys look for red flags to you know, like, we will talk we'll talk about, we'll talk about that too. Okay. Okay. We're gonna go to our segment, which is would you would you rather yours? Best ones that I could find. Some of them are interesting and deep, and some of them are not. So here is the first one. This is a seems like a deep one. Would you rather die in 20 years with no regrets or live to 100? With a lot of regrets. Live to 100 have lots of regrets. Because then you there's more stuff to be learned in that lifetime. Yeah, I also just feel like I already have 1000 billion regrets what? What's a couple, you know, years more of that? Right? And because like I think regrets might be mistakes and might be stuff you've done differently. You know, just minor stuff like that. So Simon necessarily bad things, right? Yeah. But with that much opposition if like there's a lot more opportunity for growth, so yeah, you'd be a better you're better person. Yep. And if you just have everything you want, that's what's even the point of living. Yeah, might as well just off yourself. No, I'm just kidding. That's, that's awful. But me I mean, okay, I feel like all the ones I'm picking I know your answer. But would you rather spend a week in the forest or a night in a real haunted house? We can forest what I did not think that that would be your answer. Why are you because you're actually afraid of haunted houses. Do I mean I've so we're just filming projects or whatever? Right like film projects we've spent like a whole night in the silence 49 which is haunted insane asylum right? Yeah. In truly Yeah. Yep. And it just creepy experiences in there I my parents basement I swear to god has haunted I've had creepy experiences on there. So just because I stay at night in a haunted house isn't does and you're not guaranteed to experience anything? Yeah, that's the thing too whereas in the forest like we can the forest you can find yourself you could camp you can explore nature you can chill you know like it's it's a nice what if? What if it was a guaranteed haunted house like you would guaranteed to experience something content they're what makes it guaranteed? It's just the rules of would you rather because like if it's guaranteed my first thought would be like, Okay, are there are people behind this like with Meccano? Like legitimate like ghosts children are? That's the thing too. It depends what kind of hunt it is. There's ghost children and out to take those children and I hate crawling. I get the crawl at all. That's an hour to Okay, well, I don't know. I didn't think of what kind of free? Yeah, it's like somebody is like, Hey, I heard you like horror stuff. I've got a haunted house here. Here. Come stay in it. How about the guy with that Twitter feed with the creepy kid with the damaged head? You sent it to me? Oh, I don't know what happened. Like I don't remember what his username was. Oh, I follow him. I was also wondering like, how fake that might be too. Yeah, it seemed fake. But I think they're making a movie now. So I But he's a cartoon. He's a cartoonist. And the best thing about him is that he has a what's it called? You mentioned it early. We're Oh, Patreon. And he's part of his Patreon is that if you subscribe to it, he has naked cartoons. And people love it. Like he's like, if you subscribe, you can see this cartoons dig and people are like hell yeah. Yeah, I don't I don't know. If people are giving him power Yeah, to draw decks. He's probably like, hell yeah, you can have these cartoon decks. What do you think the realistic or do you think they're kind of fake look? Well, his cartoons are like fake. They're not like realistic cartoons. So So do you think the dick would be like all details like names or hair? Probably of hair? I mean, maybe the dick is really circumcised or uncircumcised? Probably depends on the character. I'm sure he gives you a variety. If you're paying for Patreon for those decks. There better be a variety. Do you get to choose the size? Or does he get to choose the size? You know he? I mean, maybe you vote knows. I don't know. I don't have money to give to people's Patreon so I'm just dicks or is it the other sex too? So I think that he has a very large gay following. I think he's gay. I know. I'm not 100% So I think it's I've only seen him do dudes I don't think I feel like people who want to see naked cartoon ladies are into like anime for some reason. Yeah, there are no like octopus porn and shit. Like yeah, yeah. Cool. Okay, last, would you rather? Would you rather have Danny DeVito or Danny Trejo play you in a movie? The veto? He would get my dark humor. Yeah, defeat is. I mean, he's a star. For some reason. I feel like Danny Trejo kinda like, would fit better with your writing as a person, but maybe actually, Danny DeVito what to I don't know. But not you as a person. But your writing. If you have who would I pick between them? Obviously. Danny DeVito. Think I think then, yeah, I mean, if I was like a bodybuilder or something like that, maybe Danny, but we're like, like too much to swing machetes and weapons. Yeah, yeah. Or like, you know, if I had like a sick ass handlebar mustache? Yeah, if I still have my long hair, you know? Maybe But DeVito. Okay. Now we're moving on to what are some red flags that you see on dating apps? Or maybe just in person to? I feel like dating apps, it's easier to pinpoint them when you're like looking at them. Yeah. Red flags if they have Instagram, Snapchat? Yep. I think that's weird. Another red flag is if they purposely try to hide the fact they have a child. I think that's my gosh, that's okay. Yep. And I think I think if they give you a long ass paragraph, it doesn't. It's weird. Like they're too insecure to like, just, you know, with open naturally, really forced. So when they force feed you certain information, it's really trying to explain something about them. Instead of like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. And also, if they say, I don't give a fuck about your art. No, it's you're like, I'm honest. I'm blonde or whatever. It might get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I feel like that's code for you. I could tear them down like with a sentence and then probably go crying like, yeah, yeah. It's tough. It's an act. So yeah, just some stuff. What do you see red flags for dudes? Definitely Snapchat because I'm too old for that shit. You actually you actually you're the one who got me off Snapchat. off it. Yeah, because I think I calm with it. I think I made a comment saying that like you know on Snapchat ruing or girl only wants to communicate through Snapchat. That's a red flag to Yeah, because that's happened to me in the past, but you're like well, people still use that like that's weird and like that just kind of fucking weird is deleted. I like used it because my ex boyfriend habit and he was better at using the app and like text messaging, which is a red flag. Yeah. Which is weird because he's so not that type of person, but I Guess he is? Wait, what else did you ask me? Oh, what's right red flags. I'm just like being mean to women on their profile sorry my cats like fucking do they do that? Oh yeah, they'll be like just so you know this is an original like It's like them instead of talking about themselves they'll like say something mean about women on on the dating profiles and I'm like okay well if you don't like that then fucking don't swipe on them you don't need to talk about them on your profile like I don't want to know what you don't like about women. Yeah. On your profile yeah and I I know you said hiding children was one of your one of yours. But I also I think it's weird if you hide your child but also like posting them on a dating posting that was were to a should just be in the bio. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think I saw today there was the first picture was his children. And I think that is so strange. Do not share your children on your dating app. But it's so weird to me. Yeah, I also don't like when they say they're only into fitness or whatever. Oh, yeah. Random as Jim picks, Champix. It's just like your life. Like, I'm sure you'll find a wonderful gym lady for you. I care about like my health, and I work out but it's not doesn't consume my life. I 100% am not working out to be hot. It's like for health reasons. So I feel like that person is already going to have judgments about my body. And I no want that in my life. Like, that's not my life. Yeah, and like, I don't know, people who think that they're adventurers. I feel like they just are too much for me. Some people like that. But it's like somebody who needs to go like, do a backpacking trip every weekend or something. It's like we are on different levels. I like to be I like backpacking, but I'm not going to do it every weekend. So yeah, I that's not even a red flag. That's just something that I personally don't like. That one's just a don't like it's not a red flag. Because there's people who like that. Do you judge bathroom pics? Yes. I gotta tell you that I did not like it. Here's the thing. If you don't have anybody to take pictures, like, you don't hang out with people, and they don't like you don't have any pictures. It's just you in your bathroom selfie? Like, that's a red flag to me. Because it's like you don't have friends. You don't go places. You don't do things. The more people take pictures of you. Gives me murderer vibes. So, yep. How about any green flags? Anything? You see that? You're like, how about hubback it? Swipe right immediately. When they say they like wine. I think that's cool. It's kind of a classy vibe. Right? Yeah, we're alcoholic vibe, but classy to know. They say like reading or whatever, you know, like, they say they like being at home and not having to do stuff every day. I'm like, That's dope, because that's basically my whole life. Yeah. Somebody that you are, like, on the same level as Yeah, yeah. And I don't expect like, here's the thing, so I don't look for similarities at all. Yeah, necessarily, but it'd be cool. But I also think like if they were underwriting to or movies to, that's too similar, because I'm very opinionated. Right? Yeah. Me. So I'd be like, You're wrong. Shut up. Yeah, so I don't I don't know. Or if they say they went to school, I think that's attractive to that's a cool thing, but depends on the school for if they say RN, or whatever. I'm like, you wouldn't like everybody's second cousin. Like such a cool thing. Like, thanks. COVID like nurses? I feel like that's a horror. That's actually say they're vaccinated. Well, yeah, that's like, that's a tract that's very attractive. I think being a nurse is cool chairs. It's cool. I mean, my whole family on my dad's sides like my health care release. Yeah. There are some shitty nurses but I think that's respectable. What do you green flags? Like app pics, AB some digital, I tried to get the fuck out of here, dudes. Any person that's like, Okay, so there's a difference if it's like somebody doing something active And they're like trying to show off that they're they like to do something and they happen to have a nice body then I'm like, okay, but generally now I know like when they're shirtless, I feel like that signals to me that they just want to like bang. Something that's attract I've never had. So like, if anyone, I guess maybe I have just like weird things that I like that nobody ever talks about on dating apps, but if anyone like, talked about some of my favorite there, I wouldn't even call them underground. But some of my favorite like British TV shows because I think they're so funny and nobody ever knows them. So if somebody was like, Yeah, I love the show staff let's flats and it's like the funny I would immediately be like, yes, I want to talk to this person. We can watch staff let's flats together and it will be so fun or if they mentioned like James a cast or, but if they said anything about him, like I will be like, yes, immediately. I think people who have like interesting tattoos like if they're well done I think that's attractive because it's like, they care like it's like a shows that they are have some sort of artistic flair. I don't know somebody has cool style, I guess. What if the guy's posing like this? Chaz is posing with his hand. Is it Are they see or are they being serious about or is it funny? Yeah. Like this Like you're gonna hear in the beer with their selfie near Yeah, I like that photo that you're asking me about? Like that. If I was doing like, a weird fucking pose, would you be like, What the fuck I would be what? I say what the fuck? Unless I It depends. Because sometimes I interpret things as being like funny. So maybe I'll be like, That's hilarious. Let's be friends, or date or whatever. But now what about people who vape like vape cloud, or now like EDM runs my life. Now, the thing I red flag for me too, is if you're at a rave and you're posting like rave pictures. Yeah. No, that's to what I mean. Yeah, I hate to like disqualify people for things that they like, because every person is different, but for me personally, do doing like Mali and shit. Like, that's just I'm too old for that. I don't need that in my life. I don't need the EDM person who's going to go out every weekend and be on acid or whatever that feels like a burden. I don't need that. Ya know? No, it's just like, some people are into that. But for me, that's just so out of my scope of things that I'm interested in that it would be no. Or if people like bands that I like, that's always attractive. I connect very deeply to music. So far, nobody has. So far I've not seen anybody talk about any of my bands. So So somebody's like, I'm the biggest Hanson fan. At this point. I actually have not been supporting Hanson because two of the brothers have done some dumb shit. So like, what? So one of the brothers that had like this hidden Pinterest board that had like really homophobic and slightly racist jokes on it. I'm not, I don't like that. And he didn't, if see if he had that. And then he came out and he was like, I understand how this is offensive. And I feel horrible about it. And we're going to work on myself that I'm like, Yeah, but he just was like, That's doesn't say who I am, and then just never talked about it again. And then the eldest brother is just very religious, and he just says dumb shit about COVID Like, how that they shouldn't churches. They should go to church, even though COVID is bad and all this shit. I'm gonna say Taylor is a beautiful angel, and I love him. He should go solo because he carries the band anyways, and he is a great person, but his brothers suck. And yes, I do have a Hanson tattoo, but it's more of a sister's tattoo. So I don't feel bad about it. So yeah, if they said they liked Hanson, I would question it. I actually don't want a man who likes Hanson. I don't want to I would never want to go to a concert with them. It's just me and my sisters thing. So no, I would never want a guy who likes him. So what about horn horn horn? Vance Vance Joy, is that his name? Yeah, I'm not a huge. What? What about? I don't know, I just a few years ago, yeah. Clubs are like five years ago. I feel like, okay, I wouldn't say the Beatles will be attractive because ever. I know you aren't a huge fan of that. You think they're overrated. But I think that I didn't watch a documentary. Snooze. No, thanks, next thought makes why I already know that you don't like them. And that's a red flag that you don't like. So somebody says that that's not like, I mean, I think that's attractive because I love listening to them. So it'd be cool if we could listen to them. But like, some of my other favorites, like Ray LaMontagne or brandy Carlisle, or are flight. I would love if anyone mentioned any of those in their profile ever. I would be like, I would match them, because that just doesn't happen. So I just like dumb weird things. And it's part of my problem. 500 Days of Summer. problem now oh, now who do you think's the bad person that movie? Obviously he is Tom said his name in it. Yeah. And I thought that I think I thought that when I watched it the first time, because he's putting all these expectations are no woman who clearly says like, that's not what I'm interested in. Obviously, I feel bad because she, she put out these boundaries. And then, like, when I mean, I guess it depends on the person, but I didn't You didn't both suck. I liked the both and obviously, I was like, Oh, they're cute together. So I wanted to be together the movie, but it wasn't she wasn't the villain. That's basically no, then he's like, Oh, awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I liked that though. I liked that. It tells you a lot about me as a person. She's like, here's my cat winter. But yeah, I do feel like when somebody likes the weird shit that I like, it's cool. And I find that fun because then we can talk about it. Because basically, I don't have anybody to talk about the weird bands that I like, because I'm like, oh, you know? Okay. Any other green flags or red flags you want to mention before our last question? Um No, I didn't know no red flag. If you have a photo of you sticking your tongue out. No, thanks. Oh, I have a red flag. If you own a ferret. Know, you have a ferret? immediately know immediately get out of here. They smell like skunks. They're weasels. They they're cute, though. Now what about reptile? Did I have a bearded dragon in my photos? Oh, and I'm saying leave it out. Leave it out. I actually had at one point I don't. I think reptiles are also weird. Okay, that's just me personally. There are women who are like fuck yes. Snake me up daddy. But that's not personally that seems that sounded sexual, but I read it and she likes snakes. Yeah, so how long is your Python? I didn't mean it like that. But yeah, I'm sure that you can have snakes and reptiles but for me now, thanks. Cold hearted. That's what I think when I see you. I know you'd love to know. Until I make you hold my lizard. Okay, well try it once. But I probably won't like it. He's cute. Okay, he fell asleep on me before this. Okay, animals have to sleep everything's okay, last question. So usually with strangers, I asked them if they're in love with me. But you know me, so I can't I'm not going to ask that. So instead, my mother thinks that if Harry Styles met me in real life I forget him to fall in love with me. Do you agree? Yes. Oh my god. Okay, cool. And here. Thanks. Hey guys, thanks for listening to the pursuit of happiness. I'm your host, Marta. And you just heard me chat with my good friend, Chaz and blab about our weird lives. And you got to experience that friendship firsthand. Congratulations to you. And remember that we have social media at Pursuit of Happiness podcast on Instagram and at pursuit of happiness on tick tock, and there you can experience me reading men's Bumble bios, Tinder bios, all the apps bios, the men who do not qualified to be on this podcast and also just like maybe in this silly little goose. Thanks for listening and stay tuned for more episodes. Please subscribe so you get a little notification when new episode comes out. Okay, see you later. I like gators. Bye bye.